Watermelon Pizza

If I Had to Watch Domino’s Desecrate Both Pizza and Watermelon, Then You Do, Too

Some TikTok vids should not be duplicated.

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A new contender for “does fruit belong on pizza?” has entered the ring, only instead of pineapple bits, it’s an entire watermelon crust, fully embracing the phrase “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”

via GIPHY

Okay, I’m gonna out myself as one of those “pineapple is fine on pizza” degenerates (though it is not my go-to pizza choice), but even if I don’t mind that particular fruit on pizza, I gotta draw the line with watermelon. 

This was something initially created by Oliver Paterson on TikTok back in June. At the time, there was supposedly an argument on whether or not watermelon belongs on pizza (note: I wasn’t aware of such an argument, thank glob), so Paterson decided to flip the script and ask, “Does pizza belong on watermelon?”

@elburritomonsterI can’t actually recommend this enough♬ Watermelon Sugar – Paul Moonlight

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Domino’s Australia was, um, inspired by Paterson to try to make the pizza for themselves but, in the end, called it an “acquired taste”—which we all know translates to:

via GIPHY

@dominosauY’all keep asking us for a low carb option 😏🍕Nah fr when we saw @elburritomonster make a watermelon pizza, we HAD to give it a go.♬ original sound – Domino’s Australia

According to Newsweek, Domino’s Australia had this to say about the experiment:

At Domino’s, pizza is our passion and we are constantly experimenting with different toppings and bases in our development kitchen to see exactly what is pizzable! In this case, our social media team was inspired by a video on TikTok by @elburritomonster who used watermelon as a pizza base—an unusual idea that we just had to try for ourselves. Unfortunately, not all experiments lead to ‘masterpizzas.’ The watermelon pizza—while unique—tasted exactly how you would imagine… Like a slice of sweet, juicy watermelon with a thin layer of pepperoni pizza on top. Both taste great separately… but let’s just say we won’t be combining the two on our menu anytime soon. If you ask us, the only fruit that belongs on pizza is pineapple. Oh no we didn’t!

Yes.

Both do taste great separately.

And that’s the way God intended it.

While I personally think that there was no chance of this ever tasting good—with or without confirmation from Domino’s—Paterson told Newsweek that the reason the pizza chain’s attempt failed was that they executed it wrong. “I’ve seen several people attempt to recreate it but get the key details wrong to make it work—the watermelon needs to be cooked before the toppings go on to remove as much moisture as possible to avoid a soggy mess,” he said. “The key is in the name: Water – Melon. Need to get a load of water out!”

Paterson continued with the following (in case you wanna try to make this “Breath of the Wild Link will eat anything” concoction):

It’s very vital to use BBQ sauce rather than marinara/tomato. BBQ is already a tried and tested flavor combination with watermelon—tomato (I haven’t tried myself but would assume) simply does not work. With these two errors it’s unsurprising they did not enjoy their recreation. I have made my version for several people and they all enjoyed it—it tastes sweet and smoky, with fatty salty richness from the cheese and chorizo, simply lovely! I would urge anyone to try and recreate, but to follow the two important steps: cook the watermelon before adding the toppings, and use BBQ sauce not tomato.

Okay, so I know I’ve already said via text and gif reacts that this whole thing looks like clear defamation against pizza and watermelons, but I will say that Paterson has a point here. If you are trying to duplicate the recipe, you should probably follow the steps that are laid out for you. No need to put your own spin on something that feels like only the “party dude” of the Ninja Turtles would eat—at least, not right out the gate.

Paterson definitely grills the watermelon first, which makes a lot of sense. Otherwise, you’re gonna be biting into wet pizza toppings, kinda like when you forget to drink your pop (or soda, if you insist) and the ice melts so you’re left sipping on watered-down Pepsi. Also, I wouldn’t get experimental with the sauces. If the original is BBQ sauce, then that’s what I’d try it with before I dared to attempt something else.

Same with the cheeses. Just … copy it bit by bit, see if you even like it, then play around with it.

As for me, I’ll just stick with pineapple, though after writing this, I think it’ll be a long while before I ever considering having fruit anywhere near a pepperoni.

via GIPHY

(image: Domino’s Australia)

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Author
Briana Lawrence
Briana (she/her - bisexual) is trying her best to cosplay as a responsible adult. Her writing tends to focus on the importance of representation, whether it’s through her multiple book series or the pieces she writes. After de-transforming from her magical girl state, she indulges in an ever-growing pile of manga, marathons too much anime, and dedicates an embarrassing amount of time to her Animal Crossing pumpkin patch (it's Halloween forever, deal with it Nook)