Everyone loves a good coming out story, because we all want to be there to support each other and take care of our community. But did you know that Pokémon come out, too? In a world as stiflingly het as the world of Pokémon (ew, daycare breeding, cringe), it can be difficult for our favorite little guys to feel like they can be their authentic selves—especially since we demand so much of them!
Well, one Squirtle has had enough, and he’s letting the world know:
Yes Squirtle, yes queen, you did it, you made it to the other side! We’re so happy to have you here! Now we can get schnasty in the Castro and watch Ben Whishaw films!!
Oh, and of course, we can promote and stan Rina Sawayama.
Yes, of COURSE this is a shitpost; you don’t have to be a know-it-all and get in the comments with a few well-placed “WELL ACTUALLY”s. Plenty of people already got in the comments of this tweet to say how this is actually a tale of a Squirtle being agoraphobic and finally enjoying the outside world—”Why does everything have to be gay with you people,” yada yada, blegh. I swear, some of you are no fun, and you hate to see a bad bitch winning.
So what if this isn’t what the original book is about? We’re allowed to have a little fun every now and then, aren’t we? And who’s to say this isn’t really a story about a Squirtle finally coming out and being met with the support of his friends? Isn’t that technically just as relatable, if not more so, than a Squirtle who’s afraid of the outdoors?
Besides, it’s not like Squirtle is the first water-type to come out:
And it ain’t like water-types are the only ones who get a little “experimental”:
In any case, the world of Pokémon has always been Gay AF and we ought to start pulling the wool from our eyes. SNL’s Bowen Yang has proof, right here:
In conclusion, we support all of our favorite little critters who decide that they don’t want to be Ditto-meat and start fighting to live their best lives. And we support our own rights to shitpost and have fun without a bunch of stodgy do-gooders getting in our business.
Thank you, good day, sashay away.
(featured image: The Pokémon Company)
