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Let’s Unpack the Endlessly Dramatic Coleen Rooney/Rebekah Vardy Twitter Feud

"Who?"

Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation

Keep your friends close and your Instagram enemies closer, am I right? Coleen Rooney, an English television personality who is married to professional footballer Wayne Rooney, took to Twitter to release an absolutely bonkers story.

It all seems to have started when Rooney realized that stories from her personal Instagram account were getting released to the British tabloid The Sun. Understandably, she wanted to know which of her trusted friends was sharing information that was personal enough to only have been shared on her private account.

She apparently had an idea of who was behind it all but rather than, you know, talk to that person directly, she launched herself into a five-month-long investigation where she blocked everyone except for her suspect from seeing her stories. Low and behold, those false, planted stories she was posting popped up in The Sun. To be fair, this is some Scorpio level detective work (even though she’s an Aries) so I highly appreciate the amount of effort she went through just to point out that her friend was truly her enemy.

The story was released on Rooney’s Twitter account in an incredibly dramatic fashion.

Rebekah Vardy, who Rooney accused of selling stories, released her own statement via the Notes app on her iPhone:

As you can see, this is the kind of thing that Twitter eats up and alas, I am right there with them. I am not immune to craving some drama between strangers. Should this have been a conversation between two friends? Yes, it should have. But also then we wouldn’t have had this Twitter exchange, complete with the age-old I was hacked! excuse.

Twitter, of course, is obsessed with this and can we blame them? It’s hilariously in-depth and something I’d probably do to my enemies but still.

I cannot wait for this story to end up as three different movies and as a novel but until then, we have the tweets.

(image: NBC)

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Rachel is an I, Tonya stan who used to have a poster of Frank Sinatra on her wall as a kid. She loves superheroes, weird musicals, and wants Robert Downey Jr. to release a new album. She is Leslie Knope and she's okay with that. At least she gets to live in New York City though!