A Reminder That Coke Isn’t Awesome For You, From The Woman Who Drinks 50 Cans A Day
Alyways, always, always Coca Cola.
In case you are wondering what drinking twice your body weight in Diet Coke a week will do to your health, British Coke addict Jakki Ballan has been there and done that so you don’t have to. Unless you’re looking for a difficult way to get high, that is.
The Daily Mail recently published a “No, duh” article reminding readers that soda is less healthy than other beverages (remember water?), especially when enjoyed to the tune of fifty cans a day, or approximately three per hour.
The article is a tragic glimpse into a strange addiction — Ballan describes “sweating, shaking, and pacing up and down” if she fears she won’t be able to get her fizzy fix. Basically, though, the Daily Mail just uses the expose as an excuse to stack a ridonkulous amount of Diet Coke cans on top of each other to demonstrate her world-record-worthy habit. If you are a creep and want to see the full gallery, it’s available here.
Ironically, Ballan’s decades-long addiction was prompted by a visit to her doctor. Ballan’s GP advised she switch to Diet Coke to lose weight, but forgot to specify not to drink up to 10 liters day. Now her expensive habit (she claims to have spent over 800 dollars a month on cans of Diet Coke) is doing irreparable damage to her bones. And, oh yeah, causing her to trip out hard.
Dietician Dr. Shara Schenker cautions that this bizzaro case isn’t necessarily a warning to eschew Coke entirely — just to avoid drinking twice your body weight a week in nutritionally empty fizz. Says Schenker, “Fizzy drinks contain phosphorous, which is not harmful in small doses. But if it’s consumed in very large doses it can be bad for bone health.”
So, moderation is key — unless you are trying to write a psychedelic rock opera/graphic novel and are looking for some hallucinogens to fuel your magnum opus. Disconcertingly, Ballan says “I see strange things like oranges flying across the room.”
The Daily Mail claims that “fizzy drink” consumption may have more dire consequences than just Flying Orange Syndrome, even when not being enjoyed by the barrel full. The article reminds readers that Diet Coke may be linked to cancer, poor iron absorption, and lower bone density. But, you know, it’s probably fine, just try to drink less than three cans an hour.