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This ’70s-Style Trailer Reimagines Jupiter Ascending As Cinderella 2000 And It’s As Flawless As The Film

I've always loved dogs.

You all know I think Jupiter Ascending is the finest film to grace our human souls in years, and this ’70s-style trailer does it true justice. I see no lies.

Tragically, the Jupiter Ascending Blu-ray has been delayed from May until June 2nd (how absolute dare), but we now know that it will be on sale for the low, low price of $44.49, and will include bonus features like:

  • Jupiter Jones: Destiny Is Within Us
  • Caine Wise: Interplanetary Warrior
  • The Wachowskis: Minds Over Matter
  • Worlds Within Worlds Within Worlds
  • Jupiter Ascending: Genetically Spliced
  • Bullet Time Evolved
  • From Earth to Jupiter (And Everywhere In Between)

So what I’m saying is June 2nd can’t come soon enough.

Meanwhile, please enjoy this priceless Caine Wise art I picked up at ECCC:

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Sam Maggs is a writer and televisioner, currently hailing from the Kingdom of the North (Toronto). Her first book, THE FANGIRL'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY will be out soon from Quirk Books. Sam’s parents saw Star Wars: A New Hope 24 times when it first came out, so none of this is really her fault.