Let’s get to the bottom of ‘Biblically Accurate Angels’
"Be not afraid"? Sir, I'm terrified.
Since the days of the Dead Sea Scroll and before, angels have captured the hearts and minds of people everywhere. Modern media is lousy with them! Supernatural, Lucifer, Good Omens—they’re everywhere. Generally, they’re imagined to look like pretty people with wings and have for thousands of years. But is that really how the authors of the Bible imagined them? In recent years, the internet has begged to disagree—and the term “biblically accurate angels” entered the chat.
According to the bible of internet humor knowyourmeme.com, biblically accurate angels are far different from the haloed, harp-plucking angels depicted in popular culture. Many memers argue that angels in the Bible announced their presence with the imperative “be not afraid” because they’re terrifying. In the internet’s mind, the “biblically accurate angel” is an abomination, a fiery mass of wings and eyes that strikes eldritch horror into all who behold it. They aren’t sweet-faced messengers or friendly guardians, they are a symbol of the terrible power of Heaven—or so the Bible tells me.
Where did the idea of “biblically accurate angels” come from?
To answer that question, we must consult the Good Book, especially the Book of Ezekiel. In the story of Ezekiel, the prophet himself was on the shores of the Kebar River in the olden days of Babylon, when he beheld a terrible vision from on high. The skies above the river were suddenly full of terrible “heavenly creatures” of two different sorts. One kind of creature is described as having four faces—a lion, eagle, ox, and man—each facing the four cardinal directions. The heads grow from a four-winged body that ends in two calf-like hooves. When this creature flies, it doesn’t turn its body, because its heads are already looking in all directions! Freaky. Oh, and they’re constantly on fire. Freakier.
The second type of heavenly creature is described as a burning wheel that shines like a topaz. Inside the wheel appears to be another wheel intersecting it, and each wheel is covered in eyes. According to the author, these beings are the wheels of God’s chariot, which appears in the skies above the Kebar River. After Ezekiel beholds these creatures, he hears the voice of God speaking. It’s pretty on-brand for Old Testament God, the big guy loves to make a spectacle.
The internet has been imitating that spectacle ever since. Someone even went to the trouble of animating these angelic monstrosities in all their terrifying glory.
So are these awe-inspiring creatures truly angels? The internet says yes, and they aren’t the only ones who think so. Centuries after the books and scriptures we now know as The Bible were written, various Christian scholars went to the trouble of interpreting and organizing them all.
One of these was the Christian theologian Pseudo-Dionysius the Areopagite, a late 5th/early 6th century Greek who attempted to make sense of the various denizens of Heaven. He wrote a book called De Coelesti Hierarchia (“The Celestial Hierarchy”) which organized angels into three distinct groups, also known as “spheres.” The heavenly spheres were then subgrouped into “choirs” made up of a single type of angel. In the First Sphere are the highest-ranking choirs of angels, the Seraphim, the Cherubim, and the Ophanim (also known as Thrones). The Second Sphere includes the Dominions, the Virtues, and the Powers. In the Third Sphere are the Principalities, the Archangels, and finally, the regular Angels—the lowest-ranked choir of all.
According to Pseudo-Dionysius, whose findings were later reaffirmed by the Roman Catholic Church, the four-winged, four-faced angels of Ezekiel’s vision were Cherubim, the second highest-ranking angelic choirs. Though “cherubs” in popular culture are usually imagined as chubby little winged babies, those beings are actually an invention of Renaissance painters known as “putti,” not to be confused with Pseudo-Dionysius’ horrifying Cherubim. The burning wheels of Ezekiel’s vision, meanwhile, were defined as Thrones, ranked one degree lower than the Cherubim in Pseudo-Dionysius’ celestial hierarchy. The Thrones, the Cherubim, and the highest ranked Seraphim were thought to be the most holy and powerful of angels and consequently the most alien-looking—a far cry from the humanlike angel Aziraphale of Good Omens.
But “biblically accurate” angels aren’t actually accurate at all
While the Thrones and Cherubim were categorized as angels in the centuries after the Bible was written, calling these angels “biblically accurate” is not accurate at all. Throughout the Bible, angels are referred to as “malakim,” which is a word meaning “messengers.” “Malakim” is a job title, not a type of creature. The modern word “angel” derives from the Greek word “angelos,” which means “messenger” as well. Both human and divine beings are referred to as “malakim” throughout the Bible. However, divine messengers bearing this title are described in a very particular, very human way. Heavenly “malakim,” or “angels,” are depicted in the Bible as male-presenting humans.
In the book of Genesis, three of these angels pay Abraham, an important Old Testament patriarch, a visit. Though these angels are described as men, Abraham still fell to his knees before them, as he knew that they were sent by God. Later in Genesis, two angels appear to a man named Lot, who is said to be the only good person living in the sinful city of Sodom. Lot invited these angels into his house and fed them, and they later saved Lot from a mob of angry citizens by rendering them blind. Other passages of the Bible contain depictions of angels as well, and they appear as men every time.
The “heavenly creatures” of Ezekiel’s vision are not angels in a biblical sense, as they are never referred to as “malakim.” This means that the author of Ezekiel did not consider these creatures “messengers,” but rather a different sort of heavenly denizen. Not an angel, but some other type of spiritual being entirely. If you want to get into the biblical nitty gritty, check out the Oxford-educated religious scholar Dan McClellan on YouTube, who offers insight into angels, heavenly creatures, and other key aspects of the Bible from an academic perspective free from religious dogma.
If biblically accurate angels aren’t biblically accurate, where did the confusion come from?
From Pseudo-Dionysius, of course. Pseudo-Dionysius reasoned that all of Heaven’s denizens are “malakim” or “messengers” (aka angels) because they all must operate under the instructions of God. In his understanding, the highest choirs of angels (Seraphim, Cherubim, and Thrones) receive direct messages from God. Those angels then pass those messages down the divine chain to the middle choirs (Powers, Virtues, Dominions), who then pass those instructions down to the lowest choir (Principalities, Archangels, Angels).
In short, The Cherubim and Thrones in Ezekiel were categorized as angels hundreds of years after the Bible was written, but the authors of the Bible didn’t name them as such. That being said, I think Pseudo-Dionysus improved on the image of angels—burning wheels covered in eyes are way cooler than just regular, humanlike dudes.
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