Best ESFP “Entertainer” Anime Characters
ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
Well I can fix that!
*explodes in a spray of dildos and body parts*
C’mon that was pretty entertaining, am I right? Who doesn’t love a little bit of sex violence? It’s the American Way! And swear to God I’ll have it my American Way and make you bitches laugh if it’s the last thing I do.
*vomits up a Tesla full of circus clowns*
How about that? Pretty good right? I’d like to see one of those smart-ass INTJs try to explain that one. And yeah sure, ESFJs are sweet and all, but are you actually having fun with them? And when I say fun, I mean something like THIS.
*turns internal organs inside out*
How about THAT? How’s THAT for wearing your heart on your sleeve? *rimshot*
I’d like to see anyone else try to follow up an act like me. But tell you what, in the interest of creating that pinnacle of entertainment: a variety show, I’m gonna come up with a list of anime characters who are dedicated to the ESFP craft. Why? It’ll be fun, what other reason is there?
Monkey D. Luffy
Now THIS GUY has an ACT. The hero of One Piece had the moxie, the chutzpah, the gumption to stow away on a ship and eat a magical fruit that turned his whole body into rubber. Why? Because he was hungry! What a card! Seriously though, this kid eats, sleeps, and breaths laughter and joy. Monkey D. Luffy wants to find the mystical “One Piece”, a treasure of fabulous worth, in order to become the King of Pirates. Why? For the sheer lolz. It’s for kicks! For a laugh! For the gag! Because why not? Why wouldn’t you want to get rich and fuck around for the rest of your life? It’s the American Dream! That’s the Planet Earth dream! Everybody wants that! Nobody really wants to “help people” or “change the world” unless they know they’re gonna have a good time doing it, right? Monkey D. Luffy is here for a good time. In fact, he might be predestined to be here for a good time. Luffy may or may not be the reincarnation of a mythical figure called Joy Boy who is basically the Jesus of jokes. Joy Boy’s one job is to spread joy. If the prophecy turns out to be true, I can’t think of a better boy for the job than ol’ Monkey D.
Here’s another perfect example of a kid who’s in it for the laughs. Yeah sure, Ash Ketchum from Pokemon wants to be the greatest Pokemon master and “catch ’em all”, but for the sole purpose of having a good time doing it. And what’s this kid’s idea of a good time? Capturing wild animals and forcing them to fight each other! Sure it’s a little fucked up, but we don’t judge! After all, there is nothing more entertaining than a Pokemon battle. What else is he gonna do all day? Dick around in a lab coat like Professor Oak? Be a narc like Officer Jenny? Pull a Nurse Joy and only give Pokemon attention when they’re injured? Hell no! In this Pokemon eat Pokemon world, Ash wants to be the guy responsible for the injuring. He wants to be in the fighting pit. He’s seeking that high. He wants that adrenaline. And when he’s not playing with the very lives of his Pokemon he just wants to relax and goof around with them all day. Kid’s got the right idea!
Another textbook example of an entertainer, Hannes is here for a good time and not a long time! Too soon? C’mon it’s just a joke! And so is life! Hannes knows this. In the world of Attack On Titan, Hannes is a soldier in a military whose job it is to protect a dwindling human populace from flesh-eating giants who outsize and outnumber them! It’s absurd! So what does Hannes do? Whatever he wants. Why worry about fighting a battle you know you’re going to lose? We’re all gonna die! And in the world of Attack on Titan, it’s probably gonna be sooner than you think! So Hannes has decided to spend his days having a ball. He gets drunk on duty, he plays cards, he roasts everyone and everything with a pulse. He lives his life in the sole pursuit of good vibes only. And it was better for his health that way? Because guess what happens when he starts acting out of “honor” and “duty” and tries to “defend the weak” and all of those other things that spell “bad time”? He gets killed by a Titan. Take it from Hannes, everything that isn’t having a laugh is bad for you. Really bad for you. Poor guy had to learn that lesson the hard way.
Misa Misa is a perfect example of an entertainer because she literally is one. In the world of Death Note, she’s a superstar! She’s an up-and-coming young model and actor, and she’s got the personality to boot! She’s the bubbliest little bubble that ever bubbled! She’s sweet and adorable to everyone! All she wants is to love, be loved, and have a good time doing it. Sad thing for her is that she bet on the wrong love horse: Light Yagami. He’s a ruthless killer with a god complex, and she’s the human equivalent of an ice cream sandwich. It was never gonna work out. But she sure as hell tries! She does her best to keep up her happy-go-lucky attitude all the time, even when Light is convincing her to give up her literal life force in order to attain the powers of a god of death, which Light naturally exploits to further his own ends. Poor thing, should have taken a page out of Hannes’ book and learned to avoid death monsters all together.
Now this little guppy might actually be the biggest entertainer fish in the pond! The main character from the Miyazaki film of the same name, Ponyo’s only pursuit is the Grand Old Time. She slips out the door of her undersea wizard dad’s house into the open ocean and falls asleep inside a jellyfish (classic!) and washes up on the shore. She is discovered by a five-year-old boy named Sosuke, and proceeds to do what the entertainer does best: make friends! How? By licking blood from a cut on his hand. Metal! She’s a carnivorous little sucker, and after she finagles her way into a ride back to Sosuke’s house in a bucket, she proceeds to do nothing but chow down on all his family’s ham! Yes, ham. For reasons unknown, she loves ham. Probably because, according to actual cannibals, pig has a similar taste to human flesh. Ponyo’s semi-murderous intentions don’t stop there. After a couple of conversations with Sosuke, she gets the hilarious little idea to splashing around in the ocean and yelling “tsunami!” and actually causes one. But don’t blame her! She was just doing it for the yucks! Eventually, Sosuke and Ponyo travel out in a boat to look for survivors, but it’s pretty much Sosuke’s idea. Ponyo is just there because it sounds like a fun thing to do. And that’s the best reason of all, ain’t it?
Featured image: Toei Animation
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