The Best Episodes of ‘The Witcher’, Ranked
Gentleman, it's been an honor.
We’ve got a long wait ahead of us for season 3 of The Witcher. Hopefully, the first part of the season will arrive this summer. When it does, it will be the last time we get to see devoted fan and beloved man Henry Cavill as Geralt of Rivia. At least after his departure, we’ll still have Joey Batey playing the best bard ever, Jaskier. Plus, our magical women Yennefer (Anya Chalotra) and Ciri (Freya Allan) seem to be sticking around for the long haul.
There are a few shows out there like The Witcher, but none of them can really take its place. So to prepare for the third season, I have been rewatching all the episodes from the first two seasons over and over. (Not that I haven’t already seen them all several times or anything.) For those who may only want a highlights reel before the new season debuts, I have prepared a list of The Witcher‘s best episodes to save you some time. Here’s a rundown.
8. “Bottled Appetites” (Season 1, Episode 5)
When Geralt doesn’t sleep, he’s even grumpier than normal. While Geralt and Jaskier bicker, they accidentally released a Djinn. Their misadventures take a life-threatening turn, which leads to them meeting Yennefer, changing the course of all their lives. Geralt also ends up in a bathtub (again) while trying to save Jaskier’s life.
7. “Four Marks” (Season 1, Episode 2)
When certain characters meet, it is magic on screen. And this episode marks the beginning of Geralt and Jaskier’s decades-long friendship. On their first adventure together, Jaskier was so inspired he wrote his first hit song, “Toss a Coin to Your Witcher.” (I know you’re singing it right now.)
6. “A Grain of Truth” (Season 2, Episode 1)
One thing The Witcher does well is one-off monster episodes. The season 2 premiere is like a monster story that meets Beauty and the Beast, where both of the characters are the beast. Geralt reunites with an old friend who has turned into a beast AND is in love with a blood-sucking creature. It’s creepy and heartbreaking. Even the fight scene in the pristine snow was strangely beautiful.
5. “Kaer Morhen” (Season 2, Epsiode 2)
Yennefer and Fringilla are held captive by angry elves. Both women have visions of robed figures. It gets really crazy when they find a passage leading to a magic hut that looks a lot like Baba Yaga’s house. The old mysterious magic is so intriguing. Meanwhile, the new dad Geralt took his daughter Ciri home to Kaer Morhen to meet the witcher family for the first time.
4. “Redanian Intelligence” (Season 2, Episode 4)
Yennefer is looking for the mysterious figure who is helping the elves get to Cintra. She finds out this “Sandpiper” is her best frenemy, Jaskier. And he shows up singing his absolute bop of a break-up song, “Burn Butcher Burn.” Oh, and there is also a lot about the politics of their world in this episode, but I was mainly there for the Jaskier and Yennefer verbal sparring.
3. “Of Banquets, Bastards and Burials” (Season 1, Episode 4)
This is one of my favorite Witcher episodes. It is peak Jaskier/Geralt interaction … in a bathtub, no less. When these two get together, who knows what will happen? Who would have guessed that the two of them going to a ball would end with Geralt having a child of surprise?
2. “Voleth Meir” (Season 2, Episode 7)
There is a lot of drama going on in this episode, but the most important thing is that Geralt and Jaskier were finally reunited. I was angry we had to wait until almost the last episode for them to see each other again. However, Geralt’s apology and the way that they hug it out just made the wait worth it. Then they go bathing together, as they like to do.
1. “Family” (Season 2, Episode 8)
We have the whole found family (a witcher, a bard, a witch, and their collective daughter) assembled at Kaer Morhen when monsters start attacking from inside and outside of the house. It feels like both seasons were just building to this episode: It’s the culmination of these forged relationships between complicated characters, who all band together to fight the monsters. And even though something horrible is on the horizon, it doesn’t feel like the end of the world as long as they work together.
(featured image: Netflix)
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