Hotties abound in Fire Emblem Engage. There are 14 people to whom you can pledge your undying love, a bunch more that you can become bestest friends with, and then another handful of peeps who will flirt with you but not want to commit. Just like how dating is in your real-life 20s!
I’m not going to tell you who and who you shouldn’t give your ring to—this list here will do that. I’m simply gonna give you options as to who you can make mistakes with (no matter WHAT your gender is).
So here they are, the Best Boys, waifus, and “I can fix hims,” all wrapped up in one convenient list.
Alfred
Starting off strong is the sweet summer flower that is Alfred. He’s the prince of Firene, so if you’ve got a nobility kink he can oblige you there. The boy is perhaps one of the most wholesome, sugary, saccharine, cinnamon-rolly romances in the entire game. Alfred lives for your love. LITERALLY. The boy will actually live longer if you decide to give him your pact ring. And that’s a good thing … because he’s kinda soft in combat and he could really use the support.
Bunet
The man is a cook. Need I say more? Good. Because there isn’t any more. Bunet’s entirely personality revolves around the fact that he can make food. And he milks it to death. It’s his only selling point but good lord does it sell. Bunet is like a bakery that makes only one flavor of cookie, but that flavor is White Chocolate Mocha Cookie Dough Heavenly Angel. Delicious, if that’s your thing. Chef’s kiss. And then kiss again.
Chloe
You will fall in love with Chloe on the battlefield before you do off. Why? Because this pegasus knight is arguably the best combat unit in the entire game. She’s a one woman army. She will body anything that so much as sneezes at you. Off the battlefield, she’s a total nester. She’s one of those people that loves love, wants nothing more to be in love, and if you don’t fall in love with her then she’ll just run along with someone else. If you want a li’l boo thing that will make enemies piss themselves, Chloe is your girl.
Goldmary
On the outside, this little swords fighter appears sweet and normal. But do you know why Goldmary is always holding drinking cups? Because she is thirsty. Parched. A cactus in the desert. She needs the D, the V, and every other letter in the alphabet. Hornier than one of those freaky desert lizards that shoot blood from their eyes. If your ideal romantic relationship is the plot of Diary of a Nymphomaniac Part One, then Goldmary is the Gold Standard.
Ivy
Ivy may seem like she’s a tough as nails ice queen on the outside, but inside she’s the subbiest creature known to man. A princess with a praise kink, she will worship the ground that you walk on. She’s the kind of person that can go for a full month without food, water, or sleep, living solely on headpats and the hope that you’ll call her a good girl. If you want someone who’s going to kiss the soles of your feet every time you walk in the door, you can’t go wrong with Ivy. But please give the girl some aftercare. She won’t ask, but she needs it.
Diamant
In a party full of sluts, Diamant is a pillar of virginity. The man is an Ed Sheeran song incarnate: clean cut, sexless, and sung by a ginger. He’s the prince of Brodia, and as a prince he has no time for hoeishness. He barely even has time for romance, he’s got more straight laces than a thigh high boot. Scrubs need not apply. However, if you’re looking for a man who will do the cooking, the cleaning, and the taxes for both of you, there isn’t a better match around.
Jade
Don’t let her tanky exterior fool you; Jade is a total softy. A BookTok girlie till the day she dies, Jade always has her nose between the pages of some dusty ol’ tome. Reading is sexy, yes. But do you know what’s even sexier about Jade? She’s a writer. And what does she want to write about? You. If you lay your affections on Jade, she will put pen to paper and write a whole-ass book for you. How romantic is that? Anyone can say pretty words, but it takes another type of person entirely to write 10,000 of them.
Kagetsu
While some of the party members in Fire Emblem Engage are wishy-washy with their feelings, Kagetsu aims for the emotional heart every time. The man LOVES people. Literally his hobby is making friends. How sweet is that? The best part about Kags is the fact that you know EXACTLY where you stand with him at all times. If you need reassurance in a relationship without all the game playing, Kagertons will hold you down like a rock tied to your foot. In a sexy way. He’s also one of the few people in the game who will flat out say “I love you.” Nothing hotter than emotional honesty.
Lapis
Do you want a cottage core romance with a woodsy little fae girl? Allow me to rephrase: why wouldn’t you? Lapis is a rustic sword fighter who knows a thing or two about living off the land. Imagine: living off the grid with her while she grows all of your food in the back forty. Whiling away the evening hours making little crafts together. Worried about a bear coming into your country house and eating the two of you? Not to worry, she’ll kill it. She’s done it before.
Louis
For many fans of Fire Emblem Engage, Louis is the ultimate gay romance option for a male Alear. Why? Because Louis’ voice actor is married to the male voice actor for Alear in the real world. That means that every single conversation that male Alear and Louis have is the sound of real love. How romantic is that? You can actually listen to two people who are truly in love with each other fall in love all over again. My heart is screaming.
Mauvier
Hunting for love? Why not bag a silver fox. The 45-year-old Mauvier is the resident daddy of Fire Emblem Engage, and he’s looking to adopt. Mauvier was a bad boy in his youth, but has since settled down in his middle age. No “I can fix him” necessary, this mature man fixed himself. Despite the fact that he could be your dad, he still has the tendency to trip over his words when looking into your young eyes. But hey, it’s kinda hot that you get to make an older guy feel like a teenager in love all over again.
Merrin
Merrin is everything. Men and women both want and want to be her. Hailing from a distant desert land, Merrin one-ups everyone else in the party by riding a literal wolf into battle. If you have a Princess Mononoke fantasy, allow Mer-Mer to make it your (digital) reality. Aside from the fact that she’s a badass, she also has cute little hobbies! Like knife throwing! And bug collecting! Adorable! Added bonus is that she wears these hot clawed gloves that I guarantee would feel all tingly on your bare skin.
Panette
Have you ever wanted to bang a juggalo? Now you can. Panette is every clown fetishists’ wet dream. She’s a spooky little axe wielder who serves as Fire Emblem Engage’s Hot Topic girl. Who doesn’t dream of a diminutive little goth with a battle axe? Despite her creepy hot looks, she actually has one of the sweetest romances in the entire game. And her backstory? I’m not gonna get into any spoilers, but girl has more layers than an onion bundled up for winter weather.
Pandreo
Pandreo may take home the Fire Emblem Engage award for Sluttiest Man, which is surprising considering he’s a priest. On second thought, it isn’t surprising at all, considering the history of organized religion. While it seems that all Pandreo wants at first is to baptize himself between your legs, he actually hides a tender little heart! Not only that, Pandreo is more than happy than to sell out his god and worship you for a change. Your body is his altar. Praise be.
Seadall
Seadall may in fact take home the crown of Fire Emblem Engage’s Most Sexiest of Men. He’s a dancer, which is a combat class based entirely around being hot. Despite his slutty character design, he is in fact a sensual and passionate man who only has eyes for the one that he loves. And that one is YOU. A fan favorite among players, Seadall is arguably the Best Boy of the game.
(featured image: Nintendo)
