A lot has changed for Ali Wong since her 2018 Netflix special Hard Knock Wife. For one, she’s no longer pregnant, as she was in HKW and in her first special 2016’s Baby Cobra. And for another, Wong’s star has risen dramatically. In the ensuing years, she co-wrote, produced, and starred in 2019’s hit Netflix romcom Always Be My Maybe, lent her vocal talents to Adult Swim’s Tuca & Bertie, and appeared in a brief but memorable role in Cathy Yan’s Birds of Prey. And she has also become one of best, most recognizable stand-up comics in recent years.
Despite her best efforts to “lay down” instead of “lean in,” Wong is building an empire, raising a family, and killing it in her career. She is, in the parlance, “having it all”: the mythical gold ring that dangles just out of reach for most American women. Because it’s not just enough to be successful in one aspect of your life; having it all demands that women simultaneously excel at their career, their marriage, their parenting. Oh, and you better look good doing it.
And thanks to the patriarchy, “having it all” comes with diminishing returns for women. Wong artfully deconstructs the challenges facing successful women, which range from a lack of romantic options to unsatisfying sex to the terror of being a famous woman on social media. Wong questions why successful, powerful men are lauded and their bad behavior excused, while women are afforded none of the admiration and positive attention.
She unpacks this in a terrific rant about life as a female stand-up comic. When male comics tour, they are met with “chuckle-fuckers,” young gorgeous female fans eager to hook up. But “fan pussy” does not extend to the male equivalent, “fan dick,” which Wong describes as a harrowing gauntlet of racist, sexist, murder-y DMs from absolute psychopaths who, Wong notes, “have extremely good taste.”
One only has to look at the romantic exploits of comedians like Pete Davidson to know that there does not exist a female equivalent. And as any woman on the internet will tell you (or God forbid, a woman who has opinions on Star Wars or Marvel) dealing with online abuse is a relentless nightmare of the worst of humanity.
Wong, as usual, does not shy away from the explicit, detailing her desires with vibrant profanity and filthy jokes. She remains gut-bustingly funny, because every dirty detail is grounded in essential truths about gender, sexuality, and the ways in which society treats men and women. Wong expounds on everything from the orgasm gap to the politics of cheating on her husband to the ways in which singlehood affords a freedom so dearly missed once you have kids.
For Wong (and for most women) success is a double-edged sword. And Wong doesn’t miss the irony embedded with her success. When questioned how her husband feels about her divulging explicit details of their sex life she remarks, “He doesn’t give a shit. Because he’s too busy living the life I wanted for herself.”
As much as Wong may want to lay down, she shows no signs of stopping. Don Wong is a confident, brilliantly funny special from a woman performing at the top of her game.
Ali Wong: Don Wong is currently streaming on Netflix.
(Image: Clifton Prescod/Netflix)
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