Woman Isn’t Ready To Sleep With Him After 3 Dates. Then He Gives Her an Ultimatum: ‘This Is the Text He Sent Me’
Personal boundaries aren't there to be trampled on.
Everyone has their preferences on how fast a new relationship moves forward. After three dates, one person might want to get physical while the other might want to slam the brakes on before taking the leap.
TikTok creator Viola (@datewithviola) had a simple rule for herself. She did not want to sleep with someone until she knew where things were going, even if the dates had otherwise gone well.
That apparently did not sit well with the man she was seeing. After Viola refused to sleep with him following their third date, she says he sent her a text that made his expectations very clear and turned her personal boundary into an ultimatum.
That’s when the tone changed
Viola shared the message in a video, saying, “I refused to sleep with a man after 3 dates, and this is the text he sent me.” In the text, the man reportedly told her he did not care that they had only been on three dates or that she had a rule about waiting until she knew where a relationship was going.
Dating boundaries can become an issue when one person simply refuses to respect what the other has already made clear. He called it a “ridiculous little” rule and argued that because they liked each other and were both adults, she was making him wait unnecessarily.
He then brought money into the conversation. “I’m not going to keep taking you out and spending money on you while you make me jump through hoops for something that should happen naturally,” the message read.
The text continued by questioning whether Viola was actually attracted to him. He reportedly told her she was either attracted to him or “wasting” his time and said he would not wait until a seventh date or another number she had decided on. He ended the message with an ultimatum, telling her, “So decide what you want, because I won’t be asking twice.”
Viola was not convinced. She called out the message in her video and said she did not mind sharing it publicly because she wanted other women to know how he had responded.
Viewers largely focused on the way the man spoke about her boundaries rather than the number of dates itself. One commenter wrote, “‘Listen to me…’ BLOCKED.” Another pointed directly to his dismissal of her rule, writing, “‘Your ridiculous little rule’ IT’S A F–KING BOUNDARY.”
“If he thinks money spent = access to sex he could just hire someone rather than going through the pretence of dating,” one person commented. “He calls it ‘…something that should happen naturally’ whilst unnaturally trying to force the issue,” the commenter wrote. One viewer agreed that the man was “100% in the wrong” but argued that splitting the bill on a date should be considered while two people are still getting to know each other.
Still, paying for dinner does not override another person’s decision about sex. Viola had already decided what she was comfortable with. His text made it clear that he was not willing to date on those terms, and judging by her response, that ultimatum gave her the answer she needed.
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