For me, the saddest location-casuality of the COVID-19 pandemic was One Piece Tower: an indoor theme park dedicated to the series nestled within the lower floors of Tokyo Tower. Nothing except another One Piece theme park could replace this hole in my heart. (Yes, there’s a One Piece seasonal roller coaster at Universal Studios Japan, but that’s not the same.) However, no matter how wild my daydreams about potential One Piece attractions get, reality somehow manages to be weirder. It’s no One Piece Tower, but there’s going to be a One Piece-inspired gym opening in Tokyo.
To make this story even more bizarre, the name of the gym is … wait for it … ONE PIECE FITNESS BragMen. Yes, BragMen, which may be the greatest name ever conceived for a gym. The name actually does have a grounding in One Piece lore, though it has nothing to do with physical fitness and is obscure enough that even I—The Mary Sue’s Official One Piece Correspondent™ —had to jog my memory. Brag Men is the book Nami had read which contained a portion, written by an explorer, explaining the origins of the name “Little Garden.” While no other stories from Brag Men have been specifically enumerated within the series, it contains stories of the Grand Line that are so ridiculous, the tales are thought to be lies. However, a copy of it can be seen among Ohara’s library (RIP).
The official press release says that the gym is inspired by One Piece‘s 13th volume, which, indeed, contains the Little Garden arc, but exactly how present the Straw Hats will be remains to be seen. I would love it if my hypothetical trainer and I shouted, “SUUUUUPERRRRRR!” complete with Franky’s pose, whenever I hit a fitness goal. There will be some kind of point system for “pirate ranking” based on your performance, so hopefully they’ve already thought of this. Additionally, the interior of the gym looks like a ship, and the trainers will all dress up as Navy officers. For kids, there will be a “pirate school.” But will there be a photo-op with Law, like there was at One Piece Tower? Hmmm.
ONE PIECE FITNESS BragMen will open in Shibuya—one of the Hip and Central districts of Tokyo—in early 2023. The official website already says it will be the “funnest gym.” This is such a ridiculous news item that I was slack-jawed when it popped up on my Twitter feed. But then again, this sounds sounds a hell of a lot better than Planet Fitness, anyway. I want in. Will I become as busty as all the ladies of One Piece, though?
(featured image: One Piece Fitness)
