New Yorkers are rejoicing! Our subway commutes will continue to be just slightly crowded, not nearly as jam packed as they would have been if Amazon had made the move to Long Island City, and our rent will remain only slightly outrageous! That’s right, Amazon pulled out of their planned move to Queens, which … honestly, relatable.
So, those of us who live in New York have been quick to make fun of Amazon’s failure. Don’t worry, though. There are some real takes out there when people who don’t live in the Big Apple are complaining about how now Queens residents lose out on those job opportunities, not knowing that it would still have been impossible to navigate that area of town if they actually lived here.
I’ll give you this, Amazon: Telling people you’re going to Queens and then bailing is one thing New Yorkers can relate to.
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) February 14, 2019
And, unsurprisingly, John Mulaney and Nick Kroll’s Oh, Hello! got its moment in the sun.
Amazon be like pic.twitter.com/uAfTnNq5i8
— Marika Brownlee (@marikaelon) February 14, 2019
“Will you go to Long Island City, Queens? Because I won’t.”
-George St. Geegland and also Jeff Bezos
— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) February 14, 2019
But, primarily, many celebrated the fact that those who ‘rushed’ to buy apartments to raise the rent are now stuck with them.
If you can, spare a thought for the Long Island City real estate speculators out there. Gonna be a grim Valentine’s Day dinner at Le Bernardin or wherever
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) February 14, 2019
everyone who yelled “fuck outta here” in Long Island City, this victory belongs to you https://t.co/t5NxxRESrX
— mamoudou (@MamoudouNDiaye) February 14, 2019
lmao at those people who bought condos in Long Island City ahead of the Amazon announcement. reaping the fruits of their clownery in their clown outfits today, like clowns
— JuanPa (@jpbrammer) February 14, 2019
spending a few minutes thinking about the dummies who went out and bought overpriced condos in long island city in preparation for HQ2 coming to queens has singlehandedly cured my depression
— maya kosoff (@mekosoff) February 14, 2019
We’ve had a lot of changes in recent history. The L train was shutting down and now isn’t; Amazon was coming and now isn’t. So what else isn’t going to be true?
Remember when the L train was shutting down and Amazon was coming to Queens
— Mike Murphy (@mcwm) February 14, 2019
I can’t wait for Amazon to drop a new single about how New York broke its heart
— rachel leishman (@RachelLeishman) February 14, 2019
In my version of events, in one of her Russian Doll loops Natasha Lyonne went back and killed the Amazon expansion; this is now canon and I won’t be taking questions
— rachel syme (@rachsyme) February 14, 2019
At the end of the day, this is a good thing. Amazon may have brought jobs (we’ve heard how their employees are treated), but it would have raised rent, made transit impossible, and made living in New York City harder for those already living in Queens and the surrounding areas—all while enjoying tax breaks it doesn’t need. So joke’s on you, Jeff Bezos. We’re glad it isn’t happening.
(image: Alex Wong/Getty Images)
Want more stories like this? Become a subscriber and support the site!
—The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—
