Assassin’s Creed Unity Really Can’t Animate Women or Anything Else Actually

Glitch city and they're the mayor!

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Remember when Ubisoft was all, “We can’t include women in Assassin’s Creed Unity because they’re too hard to animate?” Tons of nightmare-inducing glitches from the new game prove that women are, in fact, much too difficult for the game studio to render—like the above image, from Reddit.

If you like a little surrealism with your video games, you might love what Ubi has done to your Assassin’s Creed experience.

gif

There’s even a wonderful video compilation (set to “Barbie Girl,” so you’re welcome for getting that stuck in your head all day) of a ton of in-game glitches. Things start to get really good around 1:30, but it’s all grand.

While this is all undoubtedly hilarious, we have also admittedly been experiencing a touch of schadenfreude when it comes AC: Unity‘s poor reviews. It comes down to this: If your game isn’t finished, don’t release it. (And if you do release it, don’t embargo reviews until after it’s up for sale to trick people into buying it).

It sure seems to me like AC: Unity could have benefitted from a little more time in development before hitting the shelves. Perhaps next time, Ubisoft should consider taking just a few more weeks and adding some things that a large part of their audience feels are missing from the franchise: an interesting storyline with a character you actually care about in a game that actually works.

Oh, and playable female characters. Obviously.

(compilation via Sokareemie, GIF via Twitter)

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Author
Sam Maggs
Sam Maggs is a writer and televisioner, currently hailing from the Kingdom of the North (Toronto). Her first book, THE FANGIRL'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY will be out soon from Quirk Books. Sam’s parents saw Star Wars: A New Hope 24 times when it first came out, so none of this is really her fault.