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Mayan calendar

  1. NASA Releases Video Dated 12/22/12 Explaining Why We Didn’t Die

    Friday's the big day! December 21st, 2012. The day we supposedly all die as foretold by ancient Mayan prophecy. Except that it wasn't actually foretold by a prophecy, and we'll all be fine. Well, statistically, some of us won't be fine, but the world as a whole won't end. So says NASA, so say we all. NASA is so confident the world won't end on 12/21/12 that they've already released a video from the future to explain why didn't all die. That takes courage, but it's not like there will be anyone left alive to call them on it if they're wrong.

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  2. Modern Mayans Protest Planned Guatemalan Doomsday Festival

    Are people stilling buying into the whole 2012 Mayan Doomsday thing, you may ask yourself? The answer, we can report from a well of near-infinite sadness, is yes, because many people are stupid. Now, an alliance of Mayans in Guatemala is demanding that the government's tourism agency halt a planned celebration of the end of days on December 21st, saying that the festival twists and bastardizes the beliefs of a community in a shameless grab for tourism dollars. No word yet on how the tourism agency has responded, though we assume it will be something along the lines of  "Um, yeah -- that's what tourism agencies do." Which, in all honesty? Pretty fair.

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