This episode took stereotypical notions of the “emotional woman” and the “stoic man,” cut their heads off, and rolled them into a ditch.
Male characters: *EMOTIONAL YELLING*
Female characters: Oh my God shut up, we have an apocalypse to cancel.
We start with a 21st century female cop teaching a soldier from the American Revolution how to fist bump, because they just trapped Death himself, and that deserves a bit of celebration. Things aren’t bright ‘n’ shiny yet, though. Sure, they’ve trapped the Horseman—and the cell is guarded by a hex placed on it by Katrina’s coven, so it’ll absolutely be secure until the end of time, not that this is foreshadowing or anything—but they can’t kill him. There’s a lovely moment where Ichabod talks about how Thomas Jefferson designed the cell with all sorts of demons in mind, “a product no doubt of trying to reason with the French.” LE BURN. Ichabod, your Englishman is showing.
Ichabod and Abbie suggest interrogating Headless to find out about other demonic happenings. Irving’s skeptical, because… well, because the Headless Horseman has no head and, therefore, no mouth. But Abbie suggests that he might talk to someone who’s already dead, meaning THE CHOVERLORD Andy Brooks.
Irving’s not too thrilled about that prospect, either, because Andy’s an agent for Moloch and bringing him into this whole debacle seems a bit risky. But Ichabod seems completely willing to trust him on the grounds that A) he’s an “unhappy agent” of Moloch, B) he was involved in their conspiracy to trap Headless, and C) he has a crush on Abbie.
That’s Ichabod Being a Bonehead Moment #1 of the episode. Dude. Do not trust Andy so easily! Though I love how he assumes Andy won’t turn on them because of his crush. “But Miss Mills is wonderful! Everyone wishes to be the subject of her romantic gaze. And, feeling affection toward her, surely even the most demonic of fiends would cease any attempts to obey their Satanic overlords and do anything that might upset her.” He and Raleigh Becket should start a club. They can go halfsies on an Abbie/Mako shrine.
There aren’t any other options in terms of communicating with Headless, so Andy it is. Jenny, recently released from the psychiatric hospital, is too: Abbie asks Irving to go loop her in while she and Ichabod look for Andy. “A dead guy, a mental patient, and a time traveler from the Revolution,” says a somewhat disbelieving Irving. Yep, Abbie agrees. “That’s our team.”
Aw man. That doesn’t fit on a t-shirt nearly so well as Team Free Will (either one) does.
We get a quick cutaway scene of a pair of dudebros’ deer hunting excursion being interrupted by the arrival of Headless’ poor, masterless, demonic horse. One of them turns out to be a Hessian, and he puts in a call to his other Hessians before shooting his non-Germanic hunting partner dead.
Ichabod and Abbie, trekking through Sleepy Hollow’s underground tunnels, find THE CHOVERLORD Andy’s lair, in which he has some books (Ichabod and Abbie have a discussion about “modern” authors like Twain) and a weird hieroglyphic tablet. Brooks finds them rooting through his stuff, and death hasn’t been treating him well because he flips his head back into a Pez dispenser position lid. Ichabod helpfully informs the audience that the hieroglyph tablet is used to communicate with the dead, which means Andy is Headless’ necromancer, or the person through whom he communicates.
Andy’s absolutely terrified at the prospect of meeting with Headless—his soul doesn’t belong to him anymore, he says, and if Moloch wants him to do something he’ll have no choice but to obey. Confronting Death means nothing but misery, he says. The darkness will haunt you forever. But he’ll do it if Abbie (pause for hearts in eyes) wants him to. She’s decidedly less gung ho about the plan, but she eventually agrees.
Meanwhile Irving’s summoned a newly freed Jenny to the police station, where he fills her in on the Headless situation. Your sister says you’ll be valuable, Irving says, but frankly I’ve seen no indication that that’s true.
Luckily an opportunity for Jenny to prove how very, very, very wrong Irving is presents itself right away: An antiques shop owned by a guy named Adams has been robbed. All the money and fancy jewelry is still there, but Jenny, who used to do “freelance acquisitions” for the owner, shows Irving the secret room where the real valuables are kept. There they meet Mr. Adams, who isn’t nearly as and grumpy as someone who’s presumably a descendent of John Adams should be. He is, however, a scarf enthusiast:
Don’t even tell me that’s some valuable antique scarf, either, because you wouldn’t tie it like that on a damn mannequin head. Get down with your scarf-loving self, Mr. Adams.
Turns out the Hessians stole a tablet that they can use to break the hex on Headless’ cell. The UV lights are still making Headless weak, so Jenny and Irving figure that the Hessians’ next stop will be to cut the power.
Back in the cell, the interrogation has begun. Andy tries one last time to convince Abbie and Ichabod what a Very Bad Idea this is, telling Ichabod to “consider yourself warned.” “Considered,” responds Ichabod. The way he throws shade at everyone else who likes Abbie is frankly delightful.
Things get off to a slow start. Even with his necromancer there Headless is being less than communicative. Ichabod tries his best to goad him, puffing up his feathers and speechifying about how “I’ll learn your secrets” and “You’ll be stuck here forever” and “I am the one who knocks.” The badass effect is somewhat lessened by the fact that Ichabod is literally talking into a neckhole.
You know Abbie’s just rolling her eyes in the background. (Also, God bless you Tom Mison.)
Headless responds by giving Ichabod an emerald necklace. Or, well, dropping it on the floor. (How did he get it out of his pocket? His hands are shackled!) Ichabod recognizes it as a necklace that was given to Katrina by her one-time fiancé Abraham, who just so happened to be Ichabod’s best friend.
Ooooooh! Someone call Kerry Washington in, ’cause Sleepy Hollow just got scandalous.
In flashback land we see that Katrina and Ichabod were in lurrrrve, but Katrina had already been promised to this other guy. He’s rich and will bring her social standing, but she doesn’t love him, so she tells Ichabod she’s planning to break off the engagement. What follows is an extremely accurate account of the dialogue that followed:
Ichabod: Katrina, you can’t break it off with Abraham to be with me! I can’t betray my friend like that.
Katrina: *five minutes of laughing*
Katrina: *holds sides*
Katrina: *puts hand over Ichabod’s mouth*
Katrina: Oh, honey, no. That’s cute. But I’m not breaking off the engagement for you. I’m breaking it off because it’s not right for me. Also, we’re fighting to create a new country, and I don’t want America to be mired in the same “senseless customs” as Britain. If and when I marry, it’ll be out of love. And I love you. Even if you can be kind of a knucklehead sometimes. HBIC head witch/revolutionary/female character with agency OUT! *mic drop*
Back in the present day Abbie jokes with Ichabod about his “game,” only to be peevishly told that he “neither wanted nor did [he] invite” it. He’s being an emotional teenager and Abbie’s humoring him, but ultimately they do have better things they should be doing right now than playing right into the Horseman’s emotional manipulation, hint hint. Ichabod then proceeds to start lecturing Abbie about sexism, explaining to her very helpfully that women didn’t have so many rights back then. We’re at Ichabod Being a Bonehead Moment number… I forget. Abbie, eternally Never Putting Up With Anyone’s Crap, reminds him that, yeah, that’s still pretty much the case. Or, in her words, “It’s still better to be you.”
Over at the power grid Irving and Jenny see some “power grid workers” toting heavy-duty guns, and Irving tells Jenny to wait here while he handles things. Jenny’s face says it all.
Excuse you.
While Irving’s off disarming one Hessian, Jenny gets two. Four more show up and give Irving some sass about how they’re outnumbered. But it turns out that’s not the case. Because Irving… wait for it… called in backup in advance and has what looks like a heavily armed SWAT team waiting in the shadows ready to take their German-speaking butts to prison. Irving tries to give Jenny guff about disobeying orders, but she’s just like “Hmm, yeah, that’s nice. JSYK, I found part of a bomb.” And then the place blows up.
Again:
Dudes: But your fiancé! But backstory! But you should’ve done this instead of that!
Ladies: *does actual work*
Dudes: *awkward silence*
Despite Abbie’s warnings that he’s playing right into the Horseman’s hands, Ichabod proceeds to chat with him about his dead wife even more. It becomes clear that Headless has a very personal grudge against Ichabod, in part because Ichabod killed his first partner, Abraham. At this point we pretty much know Headless actually is Abraham, Ichabod’s ex-BFF. It’s not even subtle. Abbie, realizing that Ichabod is letting things get out of hand, calls him into her office (aka the observation room) and asks her to explain that whole “killing your other partner” thing. She believes him when he says he didn’t, but clearly what actually went down is relevant here. It’s back to Casa del Flashback, but not before the explosion at the power factory takes the UV lights out.
Ichabod and Abraham were tasked with delivering the Articles of Resolve, a precursor to the Declaration of Independence, to the rebels. But instead being stealthy on their very important mission they proceed to argue about Katrina. Abraham’s pissed that she broke off their engagement, not because he loves her but because of the shame she’s brought upon him by her unconscionable decision to not submit to an arranged marriage. He’s even more pissed when Ichabod admits that he and Katrina are in love and asks for his blessing.
Ichabod. Too soon!
Abraham challenges Ichabod to a duel. Ichabod tries to yield, but eventually he has to defend himself and the two of them begin swordfighting in earnest.
Guys. You are on a secret mission. It’s not too much of an exaggeration to say that the fate of an entire country rests on you not getting cought. And you’re fighting—loudly!—over a girl. It’s no wonder the Hessians found you. If the Mills sisters were there they would slap you both.
The Hessians shoot Abraham, leaving Ichabod no other choice but to run off with the Articles of Resolve and complete the mission himself. Ichabod tells Abbie he saw Abraham die, but in the flashback we see that he only assumed he did. Abbie issues Ichabod a reality check, telling him all this man angst that’s going on right now is exactly what Headless wants, and there is no way you’re going to interrogate him any more when you’ve clearly lost control of the situation.
Irving and Jenny show up and inform the other two about how the Hessians are going to show up and break the hex so they can get the Horseman out. Irving, Jenny, and Abbie go out into the tunnels to stand guard, while Ichabod assigns himself the job of staying behind with the Horseman. It’s monumentally stupid, and Abbie knows it, but if Ichabod’s determined there’s not much she can do but what she does, which is to warn him not to lose his cool. She also tells him to take Andy’s head if he tries anything.
Immediately afterwards Andy starts pulling the hex breaker stolen from the antique shop out of his stomach (ew). Ichabod somehow doesn’t notice it despite the fact that he, Andy, and the Horseman are all in the same room. While Abbie, Jenny, and Irving are holding their own against weird green goblin creatures out in the tunnels, Brooks break the Horseman’s hex easy as you please. Before he gets out Headless tells Ichabod what we already knew, which is that he’s—yep—Abraham. We see via flashback that after being shot the Hessians made Abraham one of their own, and Moloch came along and turned him into Death (not quite sure how that happens, but OK). All this time Headless’ goal hasn’t been to kill Ichabod. It’s been to get Katrina. That’s why Moloch is keeping her hostage: She’s his #1 minion’s reward for a job well done.
Headless tries to kill Ichabod, but Andy tells him that he can’t because Moloch forbids it. Then Andy, Headless, and the weird green minion things disappear.
What did I tell you about trusting Andy, Ichabod. What did I tell you?! And he told you not to trust him, because if Moloch told him to do something he’d have to do it, which is exactly what happened. Mills sisters, put this guy in time out!
The episode ends in the Batcave with Abbie and Ichabod arguing about Abraham. Ichabod says he caused Abraham to become the Horseman. Abbie says no, you didn’t, that’s stupid. He made his own choice. (Also: He sold his soul to Molocyhbecause of the ignominy of a girl dumping him. Get over it! This isn’t amateur hour!) The two of them come to the conclusion that the Horseman might not be killable, but he does have a weakness: Katrina. Now more than ever, they need to get her out of purgatory.
I wasn’t sold on Katrina before, but this episode really did it for me. So more of her? I like where this is going.
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