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What's with the name?

Allow us to explain.

Braaaaiiiinnnnns

Is A Zombie Apocalypse Happening Right Under Our Noses?


At one time or another, those of us who love zombie fiction have thought about the possibility that something like that could happen in the real world. This happens to varying degrees of course. Some of us think some type of biological event could spread as quickly as any “zombie disease” while others have a back in their closet with maps, waters, and weapons they’d need in the event of a legit zombie attack. The former may want to make friends with latter. Some weird crap has been going on in the world the last few days. 

First thing’s first. Did you hear about the man who was killed in Miami, Florida this weekend? He was found naked…eating another man’s face. Sorry to have to give you that visual but this actually happened. It happened in the middle of the day on a highway off-ramp.

According to police sources, a road ranger saw a naked man chewing on another man’s face and shouted on his loud speaker for him to back away,” according to the Miami Herald. “The officer, who has not been identified, approached and, seeing what was happening, also ordered the naked man to back away. When he continued the assault, the officer shot him, police sources said. The attacker failed to stop after being shot, forcing the officer to continue firing. Witnesses said they heard at least a half dozen shots.”

Six shots before he went down? That sounds scary and familiar. Though the police say the unidentified man was suffering from “cocaine psychosis.”

But let’s pair that story with another from just yesterday. The University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign has a twitter account they use to give campus alerts. At 10:16 p.m. yesterday, they tweeted this:

“Hazardous materials released at Institute for Genomic Biology. Escape area if safe to do so. Otherwise seek shelter.”

Huh. Well that’s not good, is it?

They later tweeted that the materials had been contained in one building and then reported everything was fine. “The hazardous materials release at the Institute of Genomic Biology has been mitigated and is no longer a threat. IGB will be open tomorrow.”

If you need me, I’ll be gathering supplies and calling my two zombie expert friends for back-up.

(via io9, image by Brendon Thorne)

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  • http://twitter.com/StreetSpiritPic StreetSpirit Photo

    I’m a fan of zombie movies, games, etc but I find the “zombie” story from Miami a little disturbing, as well as the reaction to it.  This has now convinced me that, far from being prepared for the zombie apocalypse, we’d have no chance, because idiots wouldn’t be running from the undead, they’d be tweeting about it, or posting it to YouTube.  First 24 hours of zombie invasion, the internet would be all “OMG, zombies!  LOL!!!!”, then most of those people would die.

    Come to think of it, that’s a good way to cull stupid people.  Bring on the zombies.

  • Anonymous

    What you’ve described is essentially the plot of Mira Grant’s Newsflesh series. Zombie outbreak starts and people spread information through blogs and social media. It’s actually one of the more optimistic scenarios for zombie outbreak.

  • Kat

    I believe they call that survival of the fittest! All the social media addicts give chubby girls like me a chance to get away! ;)

  • Anonymous

    I think the face-eater was having a psychotic episode induced by large amounts of cocaine (that’s the police’s general theory, which would also explain the fresh bullet holes not really phasing him). I just feel so TERRIBLY for the victim. They said his face was totally unrecognizable. And people on the Internet just made bad puns about it (or Zombie apocalypse comments). Sometimes people suck. Can you imagine how terrifying and painful having your face eaten off would be? Very 1984.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=157400537 Sara Crow

    So, I believe I’ve now seen both stories on every single blog I frequent, but with really no prescient questions answered. Like why was the guy just laying there while his face was being eaten? What the hell happened in the five minutes (or thirty seconds) prior to the cop getting there? I assume the victim survived, since the report doesn’t talk about TWO deaths related to this…so what happened?

    The writer needs a story with more (oh, screw it) more FLESH!

  • http://twitter.com/FakeDrudgeCom FakeDrudge

    Glad to see others catching on to this.  Zombies are all around us and starting to gather in public.  I think they’re preparing for something…

  • http://www.facebook.com/gf3784 Shayne Stoddard

    To be honest the cops are covering it up as always trying to ruin the fun and not spread the good word of zombies. We know that the old man in the hospital bed has been bitten by a zombie. Drugs are a bunch of bull crap especially when drugs don’t make you get shot 7 times till you drop dead. He also growled at the officer to which means that he was not human. I feel like its a battle between the citizens and the police officers since the citizens are saying zombies and the police officers are saying its its drugs. I am gonna go with the citizens and go with zombies. I have seen people on drugs in NY like LSD and PCP and they don’t chew on peoples faces. Why cant they do anything right and just recognize that we are in a zombie apocalypse and not some game. Not only that but what if this guy Rudy Eugene went and bit anyone else in the state. Then what it will spread like wildfire and then we will be saying we told you so.

  • http://twitter.com/oh_wine Audrey

    NJ man disemboweled himself Sunday.

  • http://twitter.com/oh_wine Audrey

    threw intestines at the cops. hackensack NJ.

  • http://twitter.com/ThunderBeetle Abby Hernandez

    Zombie apocalypse coming soon
    5/16: McArthur High School HazMat SituationStudents, Teachers Decontaminated After Breaking Out In Rash http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/16/mcarthur-high-school-contamination_n_1521764.html5/19: No confirmation on chemical at Fort Lauderdale International Airporthttp://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/terminal-2-evacuated-at-fort-lauderdale-airport-in-hazmat-scare5/21: Police: Man bites woman in Westchesterhttp://www.mysuburbanlife.com/westchester/newsnow/x639948018/Police-Man-bites-woman-in-Westchester5/23: I-285 reopens after hazmat incidenthttp://www.wesh.com/r/31112110/detail.html5/23: Man Bites Cousin’s Nose Offhttp://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/Man-Bites-Cousins-Nose-Off-153100125.html5/24: Second Broward school reports mystery rashhttp://www.miamiherald.com/2012/05/24/2815003/second-broward-school-reports.html5/25: Hazmat Called After Kids Exposed To Pesticide On Bus: Hazmat, EMS Respond To Lake County, FL School http://www.wesh.com/r/31112110/detail.html5/25: ‘Disoriented’ passenger subdued on flight in Miamihttp://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/05/25/passenger-restrained-on-flight-to-miami-arrested/5/26: Naked Man Allegedly Eating Victim’s Face Shot And Killed By Miami Police http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/26/naked-man-eating-victims-face-killed-miami_n_1548359.html5/26: Florida Doctor Spits Blood at Highway Patrolmen After DUI Arresthttp://abcnews.go.com/US/florida-doctor-spits-blood-troopers-face-dui-arrest/story?id=16436402All in same week and same state…. may God be with you Florida.*taken from http://ihopericksantorum.tumblr.com/post/23988224221/zombie-apocalypse-coming-soonThis story is the second from the bottom. Florida is the state to be watching right now. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=34317193 Sydney McElwain

    You know, your post is tantamount to doing just that, right? In fact, I think you could judge it as worse. Yes, if this was an actual emergency and outbreak, then their time would be better served… but, in the very least they are spreading the word. While they may go down due to their technological distractions, those outside the epicenter would be better prepared due to the information captured through video and provided in posts. Spreading the world and dying due to an inability to compartmentalize and address the immediate danger is still probably better than complaining about the lack of action while failing to act yourself. Plus, a zombie apocalypse is dependent upon the mistakes of those at its start. If the correct course of action was employed at the start then it is merely an isolated outbreak. 

  • Barbara Evans Russell

    Just FYI, guys and girls – this article rounded all the zombie-related articles up and links to them. Review at your leisure. 

    http://gawker.com/5914059/grab-your-boomstick-the-zombie-apocalypse-may-actually-be-upon-us 

  • Steve Swygert
  • http://morethansides.wordpress.com/ PharaohKatt

    I was thinking the same thing. The way she imaginers te zombie-apocalypse seems quite realistic that way. And of course bloggers are the ones who believe it.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_R7GVNIKWG3S2UTHEQOMSZXT4M4 Anna B

    I think the victim may have had some kind of disability, physically or mentally (homeless person, I heard) so it’s completely possible that while the victim may have been trying to fight off the zombie–er, attacker, he might not have been very successful at it anyway.

    If you ask me, they ought put the victim on quarantine. If that dude rises and starts biting people….

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_R7GVNIKWG3S2UTHEQOMSZXT4M4 Anna B

    I wonder if this actually means that there’s an increasing incidence of rabies suddenly coming upon us. Sure, drugs, but rabies also qualifies. And it’s transmittable by bite.

  • http://twitter.com/Riviare Kimberly

    Does kind of make me feel happy that I moved away from Florida years ago. Right after I left they had all kinds of fires go on, too.

    Oh, Florida. I guess this is what happens when you dangle off the bottom of a country like that. You get exposed to all kinds of stuff.

  • http://profiles.google.com/jamatters Jenn Matters

    I attend UIUC. When I got that Illini-Alert on my cell, I read it 5 times and then tried to find out online if it was a joke. It felt like something out of a bad zombie/horror film. 

  • SailorAstarte

    The victim is a 66 year old homeless man. He was sleeping. He was dragged, stripped and beaten before 75% of his face was eaten off. When a police officer finally arrived, the man wouldn’t stop, save to growl at the officer. After the offender finally died, the victim seemed to still be alert. Almost his entire face was eaten, including his eyes, nose, and lips. The man is in critical condition and may die more from infection from the attacker’s mouth. If he lives, he will have to have many surgical procedures to restore his facial structure, but will most likely always be disfigured.

    This man was alert as his face was literally eaten off, as the attacker forced him down. Yet, “people” are making jokes about it. It really brings to light that there are more monsters out there than just drug-induced zombies. They’re the same “people” who post “LOL” on murdered girls’ Facebook pages, and celebrate when someone commits suicide. I think those are true horror stories as well.

    In any case, I can’t imagine the pain and horror that the victim discussed above

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Christa-L-A-Watson/511954278 Christa L A Watson

    Actually this happened about a year ago on a Greyhound in Canada. A guy randomly cut off another guys head then proceeded to eat bits of his face. He was apparently on drugs, and was mentally unstable.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ginger-Sadler/100000114172009 Ginger Sadler

    Check out the stories coming out of MD..5 days ago a woman was attacked by another group of women, she was cut but also bitten. And a student was just charged with eating his room mate.

  • Phil E. Drifter

    WARNING: VERY DISTURBING SCENE-OF-CRIME IMAGES
    http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=2e2_1338322381

    Some of us think some type of biological event could spread as quickly
    as any “zombie disease” while others have a back in their closet with
    maps, waters, and weapons they’d need in the event of a legit zombie
    attack.

    They have what in their closets?

    /also fail for subject/object disagreement: ‘others…’ ‘in their closet…’ multiple people, one closet for them all?

  • Phil E. Drifter

     Canadian porn star who mailed severed hand, foot to Canadian Conservative party: http://www.windsorstar.com/news/Porn+star+wanted+body+parts+case+dated+Karla+Homolka/6707002/story.html this may not be the story I was looking for but earlier this morning — just an hour or two ago — i found a story on him which said there was evidence of cannibalism.

  • Phil E. Drifter

     Zombies don’t prepare, they just start eating people.

    But you can rest assured, if there really is a genuine outbreak starting, you can be sure that the MSM/Gov will try to quell it with “nothing to see here, move along, these aren’t the zombies you’re looking for” to stifle a mass panic.

  • Phil E. Drifter

     You know nothing about cocaine. Cocaine is IMHO the most boring of all illegal drugs. It’s not hallucinogenic; it’s anesthetic; see http://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/addiction/drugs/mouse.html for a simplified explanation of how coke and other drugs affect the mind.

  • Phil E. Drifter

    And pigs don’t know shit about shit. First they said cocaine, then they said (hallucinogenic mu)shrooms. (Which are great and possibly the best natural drug on the planet; certainly the best I’ve ever used.)

    Alcohol makes you fat and stupid; that’s why it’s legal. Tobacco/nicotine merely kills you slowly; that’s why it’s legal. The other drugs are outlawed not because they’re dangerous — none are nearly as dangerous as alcohol; they’re illegal to replace outlawed slave labor with prison labor/stifle minority population. Read tinyurl.com/1mn

    IF it’s the effect of any drug, I’d have to say its meth.

  • Phil E. Drifter

     http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz/terminal01/2009/5/22/12/boston-police-zombie-defense-26553-1243010545-4.jpg

  • Phil E. Drifter

     So you’re saying someone in Miami wasn’t shot to death while eating another man’s face off? And there are at least 2 more that I am fully aware of…

  • Phil E. Drifter

     Nice try, fatty. Haven’t you seen Zombieland?

    RULE #2: CARDIO

  • Phil E. Drifter

     WARNING: VERY DISTURBING (2) IMAGES OF SCENE OF CANNIBAL CRIME in Miami: http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=2e2_1338322381

    Someone get a hold of Will Smith, ask him if he’s still Going to Miami.

  • Phil E. Drifter

    Date opium importation was outlawed (due to ravages the drug was having; NONE; it was aimed at ‘the hated chinee’)
    http://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/424712_10150522542325829_522110175_n.jpg

  • Anonymous

    wow dush bag that was fucked up thing to say. what fucking bored and want to be a fucking asshole if this true i hope people like you fucking die first .who does this seriously you don’t know her you evil basted!

  • Brandon Keaton

    Honestly none of this has convinced me yet that this is zombies. I am one heck of a ZOMBIE fanatic but for some odd reason im just not feeling it. Trust me when I say this all of us crazed about the idea of zombies would love it. Why? Well lets see for one we all would know what to do, have plans and just be a kick a@# zombie slayer. But I would like to see more events or stories happening all over for a full week. Then I just might take action

  • Brandon Keaton

    Honestly none of this has convinced me yet that this is zombies. I am one heck of a ZOMBIE fanatic but for some odd reason im just not feeling it. Trust me when I say this all of us crazed about the idea of zombies would love it. Why? Well lets see for one we all would know what to do, have plans and just be a kick a@# zombie slayer. But I would like to see more events or stories happening all over for a full week. Then I just might take action

  • http://morethansides.wordpress.com/ PharaohKatt

    Uh, no. I was just talking about a book.

  • Ryan Fink

    What’s a dush bag?

  • Anonymous

    It is official. This little girl has proven that zombies are amongst us because this kind of violence doesn’t happen everyday ( actually it does). Teenagers and uneducated adults are the ones who seem to be pimping this zombie story. People, the media is owned by big Pharma, who want to stomp out competition. This story is by design, with legal synthetic drugs as the target. Bahhhhhhh. The sheep are paying attention…now sell them the miracle cure.

  • Anonymous

    Wow, insightful. Not.

  • Anonymous

    I hope you are joking dude. Because if not, you are an idiot!

  • http://www.facebook.com/angelina.rager.9 Angelina Rager

    I lovee zombies just not when they are real.

  • Brandon Parsons

    Peole of the internet listin if an appocalypse ever happens we should not argue back and forth we should work together to save all souvivers possiable and escape to safety wich will probly be in alaska maybe but argueing back and forth will just let the zombies catch up to us and turn us into zombies as well and even if a person is over weight they may be good at working with electtronics,reiparing guns or veihicals, or possiably great with medicin so before (Phil E. Drifter) saying that someone is useless find out first becuse ina zombie appocalypse all help counts.
                         

  • http://www.facebook.com/Rmerac Aaron Cramer

     More importantly.. what’s a basted? O.o

  • http://www.facebook.com/Rmerac Aaron Cramer

     Check out http://www.disaster-girl.com. Scroll down her homepage.. there are two lists with close to 200 combined stories related to this shit.. all of which have happen since april or so up to today.

  • http://www.facebook.com/digs99 Diego Castellano

    Actually the Zombie idea has more then a good chance then 2012! All the bio changing food and messing with the DNA of everything really ups the odds. Going with the moives try to go for the head Please! Really dont know if it will work, comes from the moives anyway. Now with solar flares, underground bunkers, 2012, etc. You start to wonder if we did this to ourselves and not some UFO;s or the devil.

    Be as it must, most of this is a mindset of the past thinkers. Look at the world today and how we think. Change that and we might have a chance! As for the man who got his face torn off, what the Hell people! Maybe its not Zombies but I’m starting to wander what the hell is going on in peoples minds! The drug crazed in the 60-70′s no one weny around doing this shit. So that leaves the drugs out of the question.

    We could say that us as parents did not raise our kids right; being that SS money scam on child support came after we could not hit our kids in the first place. Back then I got my ass beat by mom & dad was not like what they pull off now! Now we end up with 9yr olds who will kill you for the fun of it!

    Last we can go fith the gov and aliens. mind fucking us there beams of whatever! Idea here is that the gov only exist because of the people. No people no workers no food! Small version there to think about. As for the aliens, what they came mill of light years to eat us, take over, ect??? They could go anywhere in space and find what they needed elsewhere. It was us who sent out a probe to sat Hello and when they stopped by we shot at them!!

    Really the point is it is us distroying this plantet and the people on it. And everything else so understand that! What if God did come back to earth only to see this? Concider this for awhile my friends! Points to concider then zombies, gov, aliens, and 2012!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/roger.knutson.737 Roger Knutson

    its not un comon the ussr used to do studies on the dead like dogs and that where they were decapatated and as long as there was a pump the head moved like it was still alive you can google itand it will show you the doctors do all kinds of test on dead animals to see if it could function after death

  • Patrick Morin

    such foolishness to think a outbreak is happening or even has been created the only way such a thing could occur is if a virus or parasite is created in a bio-terror lab we have the technology and viruses but the government and azmat prevents scientists from doing this research and development of the ZBW-virus also what i just told you is not to be told to anyone else in otherwords the threat of a zombie apocalypse is moderate but chance of a outbreak happening is rare as quarantine would occur and the culling would also occur before the mutation begins and the infected escape the qaurantine

  • Patrick Morin

    Also speak of any of this and we will “neutralize” you all

  • http://www.facebook.com/lawan.richards.1 Lawan Gotswag Richards

    Ima start packing my stuff and buying my supplies now and call my friend to get ready he a zombie expert and ima start looking up sighns for a zmbe pocylips

  • http://www.facebook.com/Randybailey616 Hplodnar Drawde Yeliab

    funny the autopsy report proves the drug related aspect false try again

  • http://www.facebook.com/Randybailey616 Hplodnar Drawde Yeliab

    wrong! bathsalt’s wasn’t the cause as i’ve said before it was ruled out the only “drug” found in his system was pot, so explain that one. though you are right people need to be a little more conscious of what they say and you are a good person for trying to push that point, sadly though they will never make the choice to change.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Randybailey616 Hplodnar Drawde Yeliab

    the first person to have the list of the proper linked event’s except the biting of the cousin’s nose, he was a person, as he talked to police later.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Randybailey616 Hplodnar Drawde Yeliab

    And you are ignorant.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Randybailey616 Hplodnar Drawde Yeliab

    they already have tried to stifle the mass panic that will eventually consume us all, what do you think they’ve been doing the entire time twiddling their thumbs?

  • http://www.facebook.com/Randybailey616 Hplodnar Drawde Yeliab

    read up on the current attacks it’s getting higher in volume as the weeks progress.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Randybailey616 Hplodnar Drawde Yeliab

    yeah cut his head off, he was cognitive, these other attack the most recent in alabama college, they are nondescript, attackers, that continue to move toward police even with their guns drawn at them and idk about you but every person i’ve ever seen on drugs runs at the sight of cops not trying to pick a fight with them and banging on their windows.

  • Cereal Killer

    unless zombies are immune to bacterial infection and everything else we are, and can hydrate themselves regularly the zombie apocalypse will be over in like 2 weeks at most. so yea basically just get a shitload of cereal and some dvds hook up the Xbox on the second floor and throw a bunch of big shit in the stairwell… gg

  • paradox

    want to know what ive nottised about people that are considered “normal”

    they say zombies dont exist but then when a zombie outbreak occurs they then say a zombie apocalyse wont ever happen if said outbreak is contained
    people close there eyes because there scardy cat pussies
    *if your under 13 dont repeat that to your parents or any famlie at that point*

  • cmh2300

    The goverment will just go n hide n nuke us all like they do best boom its the end of that zombie story

  • Zombie Apocalypse

    Nice. For you guys, read here something you should know,before this December. The Zombies are coming. http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-deal-with-zombies-during-a-zombie-apocalypse

  • Guest

    You’re grammar is atrocious…

  • Tracy Poole

    FYI, there have been 2 more attacks in China very similar to these…

  • Guest

    Says the guy saying “You’re” when it should be “Your” … Not saying the other guys grammar wasn’t bad…. But why be the epitome of “Pot Calling The Kettle Black”?

  • Nigguh

    Your a god damn terrible reader holy shit.

  • eras

    his pot was dipped in horse tranquilizer or something like that. makes you go nutsssss

  • Kyle

    I hope the big Zombie outbreak is only in isolated city spots seeing as moral values have flushed down the toilet.

    If we do have a big outbreak *which I don’t think is likely for spiritual reasons that are too long to explain on here* then we will have either a choice of military crackdown or mob rule.

    It will NOT be like George Washingtons revolution because his had a clear goal and he had moral values.

    It will be similar to the French Revolution where a bunch of little groups mixed in with the big groups and you had a gigantic turf war after the Queen got killed. From what I have been told it was very scary times to be anywhere in France.

  • Kyle

    You should also at midnight cast the Anti Zombie spell to help give people a chance to wake up and fight back the big brother control.

    I have almost became infected due to having Autism and being put on pills until the right people understood how to help me so I am sort of stuck in limbo land. :(