A public elementary school in Florida had apparently created a "STEM Night" at the Orlando Science Museum that was offered specifically to the boys in the school and their mothers. The equivalent event--for daughters and their fathers--was a traditional father/daughter dance.

Bart the cat was much-beloved by his family—which is why it was so tragic when he passed away after being hit by a car. Or so we all thought.

But where else are you supposed to park your TARDIS, Florida? On the street?

Toronto-based illustrator Scott Park created this amazing look at "80 of the most butt-kicking awesome women from tv and film." You can grab a print on Society6!

Yesterday the story of Jasmine Tridevil, a Florida woman who reportedly had a third breast augmented onto her body through plastic surgery, went viral all over the Internet yesterday. It's totally made up, of course. But something about Tridevil's made-up reasons for getting the made-up surgery rang surprisingly true for us.

What's that, Jaws? Don't go in the water? Yeah, that's pretty solid advice when you consider that somewhere under that water are fish that can eat sharks in a single bite. I think he was trying to send these fishing humans a message: get out of my house.

A story that easily could have ended in tragedy last week took a surprising turn when a 9-year-old boy fought off an alligator that was actively trying to eat him. Seriously, it left a tooth behind in one of the wounds the Florida child sustained, which he's going to keep and make into a necklace as a conversation piece/get-out-of-bullying-for-life card.

There are hordes of undead monsters coming for your delicious brains. Where did they all come from? Who do you blame? Right: Florida. So, a Florida State Senator has added language to an existing bill that makes provisions to include a zombie apocalypse. That's good. The first step is admitting you have a problem.

Creel Elementary School in Florida has had a long-running program to get kids excited about taking the standardized Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test. This includes urging students to sleep well the night before, wear comfy clothes, and eat a well balanced breakfast—before being served some Mountain Dew pre-test to really get them going.

Late last Saturday a Forever 21 in Orlando was robbed by a werewolf (or possibly a regular human wearing a mask). Luckily for the inherent comedic possibilities of this story, no customers, employees, or backless sundresses were harmed.

A Florida woman dialed 911 to report being served "raw waffles," and the tape of the surreal call is now being used by Tampa Police as a lesson on when to use emergency services. Warning: although not as depressing as most 911 tapes, it'll probably make you crave some brinner.

Like many of us--myself included--Eric Rico Ortiz is scared of spiders. Luckily, the 24 year old from Florida (shocker) devised an innovative way to force himself to overcome the common phobia: by getting a massive black widow tattooed on his right cheek.

If you want a job with a summer vacation but don't have any actual interest in children's well fare, good news! In Florida, teachers aren't legally prohibited from getting drunk on the job. Good luck, future generations of the Sunshine State, you never had a chance.

On February 26th Wellington, Florida will name Rob Van Winkle, AKA rapper turned real estate mogul and Kraft enthusiast Vanilla Ice, with an Outstanding Citizen of The Year Award for his "spirit of giving and dedication." Ice is, indeed, working it.

If you're sick of the demanding consumerism that comes with celebrating the people you love today, Ernesto Izquierdo works at a Mcdonald's in Tampa and totally gets it. Thankfully she got her restaurant to take reservations tonight, so we can all celebrate love on the cheap. Yes, it's the most Florida thing ever--but isn't it also kind of sweet?

As any Will Smith fan knows, Miami has a lot to offer: It's got half-dressed ladies, the hottest night clubs, and, apparently, a rapidly growing population of hermaphroditic foot-long bully snails. They're called Giant African Land Snails, and when you see them, run the other way.

Fortunately, this monkey theft does not involve a monkey stealing from people, since that would be really hard to prosecute, because monkeys are the best. No, this involves the much more unusual act of a teenager actually stealing monkeys from someone. He also stole parrots, too. This kid really has a thing for animals that can do people stuff.