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What's with the name?

Allow us to explain.

Nope. Still Not Happening.

Want to Find Out the Real Reason G.I. Joe: Retaliation Is Being Delayed?

You may have heard that G.I. Joe: Retaliation, which was set to premiere a little over a month from now on June 29, was suddenly pushed back to March 29, 2013. Even after Paramount had already started advertising it, and not subtly. As in, there were commercials on TV, during the Super Bowl, and posters outdoors, and Hasbro already had the toys on the shelves. Paramount’s stated reason? They were going to add 3D effects to it. But the real reason? Well, imagine you have this party to attend, but you had a huge zit on your chin, and you popped it, and it’s a big hot mess. Now, imagine that zit is Channing Tatum, and the party is G.I. Joe: Retaliation.

I hate to compare Channing Tatum to a viciously clogged pore, but that’s part of why Paramount has delayed G.I. Joe 2 for nine months. As we know, Tatum had a big year this year, having taken successful starring turns in The Vow and 21 Jump Street, plus he has Magic Mike coming up (weirdly enough, on the same date that G.I. Joe 2 was supposed to open), and many people are pretty darn excited about that. He also hosted Saturday Night Live this past season, and that puts you in official “big time territory.” When G.I. Joe 2 and its predecessor were shot, Tatum was not quite in that territory yet, so his character kinda gets killed in the movie. Yeah, probably not the best storyline for someone that audiences think is kind of awesome now.

But unwanted onscreen deaths of hot properties aside, the movie was not testing well with preview audiences. At all. So, yes — Paramount wants nine more months to tweak G.I. Joe: Retaliation to perhaps prevent it from completely and totally bombing at the box office in the middle of summer blockbuster season. They don’t want to be That Movie That Came Out the Same Summer as The Avengers, The Amazing Spider-Man, and The Dark Knight Rises and Flopped So Hard It Was Funny. They may have also looked at Men in Black 3′s underperforming numbers and realized that franchises are not sure things these days.

But mostly, they killed Channing Tatum in a movie that sucks at the moment, and they’re just not ready for people to see it.

Imagine you went to a dermatologist to take care of that zit from before, but instead you decided you needed microdermabrasion and your face is all red and scary and terrible. Your nasty, unhealed face is G.I. Joe: Retaliation. The difference is that your face will get better in a few months time, and this is more than we can say about the rejiggering of an entire big-budget action movie.

(via Deadline)

Previously in G.I. Joe: Retaliation

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  • Anonymous

    Heck, they fixed Duke’s death in GI Joe the Movie with two ADR lines…”He’s slipped into a coma” and “Hey everybody, it’s Doc – Duke’s out of his coma!”

  • R.O.U.S.

    best. analogy. ever.

  • TopMan

    I really wasn’t liking the premise of this movie, but this decision is a good one. Thank you Hollywood for caring for us the consumer and not putting this crap out. Maybe now they can save the rest of the Joes!

  • Anonymous

    Bleah. That guy is a horrible, brain dead, non-actor. He should stick with Fast and Furious type movies and straight to DVD action films. I’m immensely surprised that he’s this famous, and NOT surprised that they killed him off in this film. 
    I have nothing against him personally, I just don’t understand how he got hired in the first place to act at all when he clearly has nothing to offer in any way. I’ll say it again, he makes Vin Deisel look like Sir Lawrence Olivier.

  • Christopher Holden

    Great, they’re getting rid of the part of the movie I was most excited for, seeing Tatum die for his horrible performance in the first G.I. Joe (though he was great in 21 Jump Street)

  • M Carlson

    Channing Tatum? Who cares! The only reason I’m going to see is this is for Dwayne Johnson and some good ol’, high quality, B movie deliciousness.

  • Jen H

    Wow, here I thought Sueites just didn’t like Taylor Kitsch; I guess I misjudged their straightness too. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that; it’s just a bit jarring to have one’s stereotypes borne out.))

  • Jayne


    … worked for Agent Coulson.