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Game of Thrones Season Premiere Recap: “The Wars to Come”

CerseiThronesWe waited (im)patiently and it’s finally come and gone. Let’s discuss the Season 5 premiere of Game of Thrones!

[Editor’s Note: As with all our recaps, this one will be filled with spoilers for the current episode. Proceed at your own risk. Also, like we did last season, we ask fans to please keep book spoilers out of this recap comment thread entirely. We’ve got another post up where folks who’ve read A Song of Ice and Fire can openly discuss the differences between the show and their implications. Thanks!]

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We open the season unexpectedly with an expected flashback! This is the first time the show has utilized such a thing and I’m sure there were a few people confused at first. But as it turns out, Young Cersei went with a pal to see a witch to find out her future. The witch tells her she’s allowed three questions and reveals Cersei will one day be Queen, but not forever as someone younger will replace her. She also mentions her husband, the King, having 20 children while she will have three. “Gold will be their crowns,” the witch says, adding that gold will also be their shrouds. Oh dear.

YoungCerseiThronesCut to King’s Landing, present day, with Cersei on her way to Tywin’s funeral. Along her walk to the sept Margaery smiles in what is clearly a “you are losing so HARD, girl” look. Tywin is laid out, much like Joffrey was not too long ago, as Cersei meets with Jaime already waiting. And literally everyone flashbacks to that bullshit scene from last season. Luckily all they do is argue like brother and sister.

We meet up with Tyrion and Varys as the former is finally let out of his crate after god knows how long. They have a lovely discussion about the ins and outs of shit disposal as Tyrion drinks a bunch of wine, vomits, and then keeps drinking.

Moving on.

In Meereen, the giant golden harpies are being dragged off their pyramid perches as we check in with the Unsullied. For a second I thought they recast Grey Worm because they chose to follow an Unsullied actor who looked vaguely similar. Thankfully, they didn’t because this particular Unsullied heads to a brothel for… cuddles and singing? Before he’s violently killed by what turns out to be an organized group called the “Sons of the Harpy.” Daenerys is unhappy with this new wrinkle in her rule and orders more Unsullied presence in the streets to prevent further violence. Separately, Missandei visits Grey Worm to ask why the Unsullied would be going to brothels in the first place, he says he doesn’t know but yeah, he knows.

At the Wall, Jon is teaching the little kid who killed Ygritte to fight as Gilly and Sam look on. Alliser Thorne is still sitting smugly as Lord Commander, and Melisandre scares the crap out of everyone when she comes calling for Jon. On the way up the Wall to see Stannis she asks him if he’s a virgin. When he tells her no, she responds, “good.”

awkwardDavos brings up Ygritte as a reason why the Night’s Watch may not trust Jon anymore, even if some respect him a great deal. Stannis proposes Jon help him convince the Wildlings they can have their lives and freedom if they help take Winterfell back from Roose Bolton. Oh and he’s giving Jon like less than 24 hours to convince them or they’ll all die. No pressure.

In the Vale, we see little Lord Aryn attempting to learn how to fight as Littlefinger, Sansa/Alayne, and Lord Royce look on. Sansa permanently has her “over it” face on.

SansaLittlefingerThronesWe get a brief scene between Brienne and Pod in which she’s trying to push him away, thinking herself an utter failure in her mission. Good thing she didn’t notice SANSA AND LITTLEFINGER DRIVING RIGHT BY THEM.

Post-Tywin funeral, Loras tries to have a conversation with Cersei who’s all “where’s the wine?” And, oh HAI Cousin Lancel, haven’t seen YOU in a while. His father tells Cersei he’s part of a religious group called the Sparrows. Lancel wants to apologize for unnatural relations he helped Cersei foster and there might have been a few eye rolls. He also straight up mentions him poisoning King Robert’s wine on the boar hunt so long ago. Long story short he’s basically like “Here’s a pamphlet, let us save your soul.”

Loras in bed with Olyvar, who’s pointing out that he’s got a birthmark that looks like Dorne, when Maergery barges in and is like, “I can’t believe I’m wearing more clothes than the two of you combined.” But really, can you guys not be so obvious you’re banging?  Loras insists there’s no point in keeping a secret here, everyone knows everything anyway.

Back to Pentos, Varys is telling Tyrion it was Jaime who asked him to let Tyrion out. The two talk about the state of Westeros and while Tyrion is all “everything is terrible, the world is shit,” Varys has a great line which reminds me of life on the internet, “Maybe we’ve grown so used to horror we know no other way.” He suggests they help someone get on the throne who would serve the country better and means Daenerys.

In Mereen, Hizdahr zo Loraq is trying to convince Daenerys to reopen the fighting pits. The Wise Masters there and in Yunkai think it’s a good compromise to not having slaves anymore and that men would be free to fight, or not. Nope, says Daenerys, though later, Daario tries to convince her otherwise post-coitus. He tells her the story of being a slave when he was younger and how he grew to fame, and found his freedom, in the pits. Oh yeah and no one has seen Drogon in weeks we should probably check in on that. So Daenerys goes down into the dark, dank hole she left the other two dragons in and…

… they are rightfully pissed. :( :( :(

Finally, a really great scene between Jon and Mance where he fails at convincing him to bend the knee to Stannis. I can’t hgelp thinking of Stannis wasn’t such a stickler to people literally kneeling, he’s probably get them to fight for him a lot easier, but whatevs! “Fuck my pride,” says Mance without really giving the actual reason he won’t bother fighting so all his people can live, as he’s quickly set fire by Melisandre as everyone watches in horror (minus Stannis’ wife, who’s absolutely loving it). Not wanting to see a man he respects a great deal suffer, Jon walks away, finds a bow and arrow, and puts Mance out of his misery. Annnnnd scene.

Overall, not a very exciting premiere but a solid one regardless. I felt like they covered a lot of ground but lacked something in a few spots, particularly Brienne/Pod and Sansa/Littlefinger. Both scenes felt like they deserved a bit more time. God damn, just let the dragons out and let’s get on with the anarchy, yes?

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Author
Jill Pantozzi
Jill Pantozzi is a pop-culture journalist and host who writes about all things nerdy and beyond! She’s Editor in Chief of the geek girl culture site The Mary Sue (Abrams Media Network), and hosts her own blog “Has Boobs, Reads Comics” (TheNerdyBird.com). She co-hosts the Crazy Sexy Geeks podcast along with superhero historian Alan Kistler, contributed to a book of essays titled “Chicks Read Comics,” (Mad Norwegian Press) and had her first comic book story in the IDW anthology, “Womanthology.” In 2012, she was featured on National Geographic’s "Comic Store Heroes," a documentary on the lives of comic book fans and the following year she was one of many Batman fans profiled in the documentary, "Legends of the Knight."

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