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Tech Perverts, Your Dreams Have Come True: You Can Now Design And 3D Print Your Own Dildo

Don't look scandalized. You're on the Internet.

dildo

Gone are the days when everyone would sew their own clothes, build their own houses, or, in this case, whittle their own sex toys from wood they chopped down themselves. But if you’re looking for just the perfectly tailored fake penis to pleasure yourself with, then take heart! You don’t have to go to Etsy for that shit anymore.

The “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” (AKA the Dildo Generator) was engineered by Ikaros Kappler using Javascript and THREE.js, and is about as high-tech and individualized as you’d want a sex-toy designer to be. You can alter the height, width, bezier curves, angle, and even the color of your own very special lovemaking aid device.

Heck, you can even 3D print it if you so choose — the tool allows you to save and export your work and also calculates their expected weight in silicon. Yeah, maybe don’t try to use your Makerbot to print one of these suckers out. We can’t imagine all that grooved plastic will be particularly sensual or even comfortable. Instead you can try one of the smaller Hackerspaces in Berlin that Kappler suggests to help you order a mold and silicon model, or just the mold itself.

Looking for ideas? Feel free to attempt to recreate these designs for your very own, along with our suggestions for pick-up lines you might use when presenting them to your lover.

 

Screen Shot 2014-06-06 at 4.38.36 PM

Pawn

“Check, mate?”

dildo umbrella

Umbrella

“Oh no, I’m all wet.”

THE QUILLDO

Quill pen

“Hey baby, wanna dip your feather into my ink?”

Screen Shot 2014-06-06 at 4.42.35 PM

Wine Glass

“The only thing I’d pair this wine with is you.”

dildo volcano

Volcano

“Girl, you have got me ready to erupt.”

Screen Shot 2014-06-06 at 4.31.04 PM

Ice Cream Cone

I don’t know, something about licking. It’s really too easy.

Millenium Falcon attempt

Milennium Falcon

“I know.”

(via Prosthetic Knowledge on Tumblr)

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