Woman says her date waited an hour and called himself a gentleman, then the bill came and a man at the next table told her: ‘That is not your guy’

A woman says she blocked a first date who asked her to cover his dinner as “penance” for being an hour late, then tried to kiss her. The content creator walked through the night in a TikTok video. According to Upworthy, a friend was in town that day, and the trip to the restaurant took longer than she expected. She had texted ahead about the delay but, by her own admission, went quiet while she was stuck.

Guilt set in over keeping him waiting, so she was surprised that he was still there when she walked in an hour behind schedule. She apologized, hoping the night could still go well. At the table, he hugged her and told her to sit, then called the dinner bill her “penance.” She initially assumed he was joking. When the check came, he turned toward her and treated the meal as hers to cover. A man at the next table told her, “That is not your guy.”

Earlier in the night, she says, he showed little interest in her and spent much of the meal on an ex who expected to be treated like a princess. He also pushed her to film the date and put it online. Still, he called himself a gentleman and told her he was a CEO who was passing the same values to his son.

The night ended with kiss attempts

He went for a kiss twice as they were leaving, and she turned away both times. The third time, he held onto her hands while pushing for a kiss, so she told him no outright. She then told him how uncomfortable the night had been for her and blocked him.

Her caption reads, “Without a shadow of a doubt, the worst date of my life, with Mr ‘Penance’.” It continues, “I think I might have to pause dating for a hot minute because I’m still genuinely speechless about everything that happened that night.” All details are based on her TikTok video and caption.

Etiquette expert Lizzie Post of the Emily Post Institute states that “it’s the person who does the asking who should do the paying.” She adds that the invited person does not have to offer to split, and that using the check “as a measure of character is unnecessary.” The institute’s dating guide says arriving on time shows “you are ready for the date, you’re dependable.”

A 2017 YouGov survey of U.S. adults found that 35% think the man should always pay on a first date, including 40% of men and 29% of women. A further 32% say whoever asked should pay. Splitting evenly drew 15% and paying only for what you ordered drew 9%. Being assumed to cover the whole bill would offend 76% of women and 28% of men.

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