Woman invites over 200 people to her wedding. She’s shocked when only 89 of them show up. People aren’t on her side: ‘They RSVP’d’
Planning a wedding is stressful enough as it is. However, nothing quite prepares you for dozens of “yes” RSVPs turning into empty chairs.
One bride thought she had a packed celebration lined up after inviting over 200 guests, only to be left staring at a much smaller crowd on the big day. With last-minute cancellations, wasted meals, and excuses ranging from questionable to downright absurd, she took to TikTok to vent. The problem? The internet isn’t exactly on her side, with many pointing out that life happens. Now she’s asking why someone would RSVP in the first place?
‘Eloping Would Have Been So Much Better’
A new wedding debate has entered the chat. This time, it’s not aimed at bridezillas or crazy mothers-in-law, but the guests themselves. Selene’s (@slkvalor) clip has caused quite an upset, with many of her 874,000 viewers hating the newfound spotlight.
She starts the video by saying they invited 205 people to the wedding, but on the day, only 89 showed up. Even worse, 17 of those canceled just the week before the wedding. Selene says that since those guests had previously RSVPed, money and time had already been spent counting on them being at the wedding. Of course, she understands those who had justified reasons, like those who had a relative pass away. However, she shares that some had less-than-understandable reasons, like they couldn’t find a dog sitter.
Selene says some guests said they couldn’t go because they couldn’t afford the travel expenses.
“And I was like, then why did you RSVP? Because I feel like maybe you had to have known that before,” she explains.
She does admit that her wedding was amazing, regardless, but that it was a bit awkward since there were visibly empty spots with the seating arrangements. If she could do it again, she says she would have preferred eloping.
She ends the clip by saying that on the actual day, it turned out amazing, but the stress was really intense the week leading up to the wedding. Her caption states: “Love the memories we did make but for the amount of stress I feel like eloping would have been so much better.”
Do You Have to Go to a Wedding if You RSVP?
It seems to be quite a debate, with many of Selene’s viewers arguing that expecting 205 guests to show up was absurd and unnecessary. However, Anything Goes Lifestyle reported that the crowd size doesn’t matter, as etiquette is the issue here.
According to the article, venues and caterers usually require a final headcount 3-4 weeks before the day. If you let the couple know you suddenly can’t come before this timeframe, they might be able to save some money.
“If you cancel any time following their deadlines, they’ll lose this money – it’s not like they can give your space to someone else, that would be an equal faux pas for the hosts to invite anyone at the last minute.”
Similarly, someone asked on Quora if it’s rude not to show up after RSVPing, and a response mentioned that RSVPs are usually considered as socially binding contracts, meaning your presence is expected once you say yes. Of course, if you find yourself in an unpredictable situation, it cannot be avoided. There are countless articles, like those from Brides, detailing steps to take if you have to cancel at the last minute for a wedding.
@slkvalor Love the memories we did make but for the amount of stress I feel like eloping would have been so much better #weddingday ♬ original sound – Selene of Troy ?
‘Your Wedding Isn’t the Highlight of my Year’
The discourse is alive and well in Selene’s comments section. Many fail to understand her complaints, with one viewer stating, “Your wedding isn’t the highlight of my year. I might plan on coming, but life happens and also maybe they just didn’t feel like coming.”
A second viewer says, “No one can afford even being a guest at a wedding, it’s not that deep. Outfit, travel, hotel, gift, it all adds up.” a third saying, “Weddings suck. NO one WANTS to go.”
One viewer shares, “No one has 205 close friends. I don’t know why you’re surprised. If you want a big wedding, this is part of it. If you want a small intimate wedding with your closest friends, everyone that you invite will be there.” Selene replies, “We only invited 15 friends! The rest were all blood family. We both have very large families. Most of the friends came.”
Some are also on Selene’s side. One viewer with over 3,800 likes claims, “RSVP’ing and not showing up is rude.” Another says, “If you cancel that late you should send a card with money for your plate. PERIOD.”
Lastly, one viewer says, “ELOPE! Weddings are the biggest scam!”
The Mary Sue reached out to the creator via TikTok comment.
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