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Why Is Everyone Acting like ‘Glass Onion’ Killed Their Dad?!

Daniel Craig in Benoit Blanc looking shocked in Glass Onion

With the way that the internet is reacting to Glass Onion, you’d think that the movie had something so offensive in it that everyone was rightfully mad. Well, you’d think that, but that’s not the case. For whatever reason, the internet is so angry at Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery, a movie that I gave 5/5 stars to, for seemingly no real reason.

It’s a mix of complaints. Some didn’t like that COVID was in it, others didn’t like that it felt like they were being tricked, and others were Ben Shapiro, and those like him, so angry that the movie dared to mock people like Elon Musk. But the response online has been either praise or such a hatred that it has left me with whiplash.

It’s to the point where if you dare admit to liking it, you’re bombarded with people who didn’t making it as obvious as possible that they think they’re the right ones and you’re wrong. For liking a movie. Why? Like, this movie didn’t take a knife and stab you. It didn’t rip the last remaining picture of your grandma to shreds. It is harmless and yet somehow it has become such a hated thing that I just … don’t get it?

Who hurt you?! It surely wasn’t Rian Johnson

Movies that Rian Johnson makes are either beloved or so weirdly polarizing that audiences make hating them their new life goal. I couldn’t tell you why. Rian Johnson has never done anything to personally hurt me before, but it’s just the way it seems to go with his work. Knives Out was pretty beloved, but it had a regular release in theaters and then wasn’t necessarily easy to stream.

So maybe people just don’t like a Rian Johnson whodunnit, but personally, they’re my favorite things in this world, so I’d love if you could (politely) get the f**k over it and let me have this one thing in peace.

Quit acting like you’re right for hating it and everyone else is wrong

I’m at the point in my defense of this movie where I’m so mad that I have to do this that I am just gonna start yelling at people. Because look, I love murder mysteries. A lot. And both Knives Out and Glass Onion have felt like a breath of fresh air because I have finally gotten a murder mystery for modern audiences that works and isn’t just a retelling of a story we all know. It’s fresh, exciting, and my favorite franchise out there that isn’t attached to a bigger pre-existing property.

And everyone acting like this movie killed their entire family and then made them sell their soul to the devil is, frankly, pissing me off. I’m tired of not being able to like a movie without people online forcing their “well I hated it” opinions down my throat. Because it isn’t just that they didn’t like it and say that and move on. They make it their entire personality. OKAY GREAT! YOU DON’T LIKE THE MOVIE. NOW GO BE MISERABLE ALONE PLEASE.

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery is on Netflix now and please watch it so I can be free from this discourse.

(featured image: Netflix)

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Resident Spider-Man expert, official Leslie Knope, actually Yelena Belova. Wanda Maximoff has never done anything wrong in her life. New York writer with a passion for all things nerdy. Yes, she has a Pedro Pascal podcast.