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Venom Gets Extremely Extra in New Venom Trailer, Plus More of Tom Hardy’s Accent

Okay, where to begin?

Was Tom Hardy’s accent … always like that? For some reason, it sounds super garbled in this trailer, on a level that competes with the actual garbled Venom voice, but maybe I was too busy wondering if this was really a Venom movie that I didn’t notice. It isn’t the worst, but it is also so extra that I’m not really even sure where Eddie is supposed to be from?

Riz Ahmed as an evil scientist is hot, but how many evil scientist stories about humanity do we need?

I must admit, I do enjoy Venom just trolling Eddie like, look bruh, am I not creepy black alien slime? Should I not be free to do what creepy black alien slime does and fuck shit up, bruh? Come on, Eddie. Don’t phunk with my heart.

Venom licking that dude’s face is something that I’m sure is arousing someone right now, as evidenced by the reaction to the last venom trailer, but that someone is for sure not me, though I’m happy that people out there will be satisfied. Also, if Venom does eat people does Eddie Brock poop it out? Does human Eddie develop a sweet hunger for human flesh?

The world has enough superheroes is defintely a good tagline, but I hope they don’t pull a Suicide Squad and only have Venom hurt “bad” people or other Symbiotes. I want him to be a true baddie, not just a glorified troll.

Look, no one knows if this movie will be good or not, but it’ll probably do decent numbers because dudes love Venom—especially guys who know zero about comics, but think they do, love the following characters way too much: Batman, Wolverine, Venom, and The Punisher. As for anything about who these characters are, they don’t know, but they know they’re “badass,” which, you know, fair enough, but if a girl walks into a comic book store, everyone immediately wonders how much she knows.

Despite the shade, I’m actually hoping this movie is good, not because I care about Venom (if we’re talking Symbiotes, I prefer Carnage), but I don’t want Disney/Marvel to become totally complacent. Even as they slowly collect all the pieces of our collective nerd-youth, it’s good to have competition, and if that means making a whole movie about Venom, well then … go Venom?

(image: Screengrab)

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Princess (she/her-bisexual) is a Brooklyn born Megan Fox truther, who loves Sailor Moon, mythology, and diversity within sci-fi/fantasy. Still lives in Brooklyn with her over 500 Pokémon that she has Eevee trained into a mighty army. Team Zutara forever.

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