Random moments like this are what I live for when I (should be working) am scrolling through Twitter(dot)com.
Two days ago, a Twitter account that goes by deleted posted that they were back from lunch. If this were any other platform that would be the end of the story. Maybe there would be a couple of comments asking what was on the menu and if it tasted good. But, my friends, this is Twitter, and the simple tweet has gotten, I kid you not, half a million likes in two days.
Back from lunch.
— deleted (@deleted) July 25, 2021
500.
And 15.
THOUSAND likes.
In TWO days.
And it’s STILL growing!
That must’ve been one hell of a lunch!
No, really, it must’ve been one hell of a lunch because this account hasn’t updated since they went off to lunch … 14 years ago.
Going out for lunch.
— deleted (@deleted) March 15, 2007
In fact, the very first tweet from this account (which is right before that going out for lunch tweet) is this:
Waiting for lunch
— deleted (@deleted) March 15, 2007
So this account, which first tweeted on March 15, 2007, went from waiting for lunch to going out for lunch, only to disappear for well over a decade. Now, um, deleted is back from lunch, and it’s caught the attention of at least 500 thousand people who are trying to figure out where the hell this person/bot/higher power has been.
18 years?? what type of lunch were you eating i need that pic.twitter.com/n4XUUrOAUo
— kira ~ (@Sadcrib) July 26, 2021
Note: They obviously mean 14, they’re just a bit distraught is all. Still, what exactly was on the menu to cause a 14-year delay in tweeting?
What the fuck were you eating
— orange juice (@AwesomeSaturn) July 25, 2021
The 14 year lunch: pic.twitter.com/agaz8x7eTB
— Sterlingsquad (@Sterlingsquad) July 26, 2021
My headcanon says that it was one of those limited-run items like a special Starbucks drink or holiday-themed cereal or the McRib, but instead of finishing it, they chose to savor the last bite for 14 years.
Either that or they walked into the wrong smalltown establishment that hosts one of those “finish this ridiculous amount of food and the meal’s on us” challenges. Maybe it was a table-sized steak that took 14 years to finish.
Whatever it was, they’re back from lunch now, and everyone has something to say about it.
— Snappy | ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ (@Snapp_art) July 26, 2021
iconic screenshot already pic.twitter.com/zzZP98pFk7
— Shazam🌟 (@fadeshazam) July 26, 2021
Some have treated it as the return of a friend, after all, it has been 14 years. That’s a long time to go without your bro, especially if they haven’t told you where they’ve been.
bro it’s been 14 years u can’t do that shit again
— coll(n (@collin_maybe) July 25, 2021
took him 14 years to get his lunch and he finally got it pic.twitter.com/zHuBWzdIHN
— mariano 🦦 (@oscos) July 26, 2021
Others have pointed out major events deleted missed since their lunch outing.
This happened during your lunch:
Total moon eclipse (2008 / 2015)
Fukushima (2011)
Panama Papers (2016)
Notre Dame’s fire (2019)
Covid 19 (first case, 11 jan 2020)
Prince Philip death (2021)
Floods in China / EU (2021)— Komi wants Gorillaz Pops 🗿 (@Funkomiwo) July 26, 2021
And then there’s the dawning realization that there are people out there who aren’t older than this account’s previous tweets.
— Scepticsskeptic (@Scepticskeptic1) July 26, 2021
Deleted has made another post since the viral tweet, giving us more of a clue about their lunch.
She never showed up for lunch lol
— deleted (@deleted) July 26, 2021
None of the previous tweets showed any indication of this being any sort of lunch date, but I guess it was?
the plot thickens
— kira ~ (@Sadcrib) July 26, 2021
“lol” pic.twitter.com/rU1MLvbZKt
— Dom🌎☄️💕® (@DomSaysBruh) July 26, 2021
Then again she could be anyone. A relative? A wandering kitten? It’s kinda up to us to decide.
Wait a little more
— tonni⁷ (@jtoni_n) July 26, 2021
Or we can just tell them to wait another 14 years.
What do you think happened with this account? Did someone really have the longest lunch break in history? Did they leave their heart at the old diner because “she” never showed up? Or is there a reasonable explanation that got swallowed in our fascination with a 14-year lunch story?
I, for one, will make sure I keep track of who goes out to get lunch for me just in case they decide to keep my sub sandwich to themselves for over a decade.
UPDATE: We have progressed from lunch to dinner! Maybe a full-course meal is the trick instead of a quick bite?
invited her to dinner
— deleted (@deleted) July 26, 2021
Or maybe not.
︎
— deleted (@deleted) July 27, 2021
(image: 20th Television/Twitter screencap)
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