In the meantime, enjoy the html version below. I guess. If that's your thing.
There was brilliant acting... ...and scintillating dialogue! TWO INCHES OF SHARK AN HOUR. Cameos galore, including Billy Ray Cyrus as a HEART SURGEON. Surprise! Anne and Wil Wheaton! Also cameo'd: Kelly Osborne, Perez Hilton, Michael Strahan, Jared the Subway Guy... the list goes on. Oh, Sugar Ray. Do you want to see gifs of Biz Markie stabbing a shark with a kitchen knife? OF COURSE YOU DO . Respectable Journalists Matt Lauer and Al Roker lend some gravitas to the proceedings. I'll believe it if Al Roker says it. I'm not sure this could technically happen, though. In case you didn't hear, Tara Reid lost a hand.... ...and it was replaced by a saw. PLEASE TELL ME THIS WAS AN ACTUAL LINE OF DIALOGUE. And then this happened, apparently? Tara Reid was livetweeting this mother up, btw. Cap, you've really fallen down on the job here. Calling Syfy... There was action! Romance! Real-world issues! Science! And shark frogger? Shark frogger. WITNESS. Also, Mark McGrath said the thing. Ah, yes, what it means to be a New Yorker. Killing sharks. A bonus from Tumblr. Agreed. In summary.
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If you didn’t watch
Sharknado 2: The Second One last night, it’s either because you didn’t have cable or because you’re a heathen. There is no third explanation. Luckily, Twitter’s on hand to show you the bonktastical craziness you missed. Two inches of shark per hour! Tara Reid with a saw for a hand! Both literal and figurative shark jumping! Wil Wheaton! Are you following The Mary Sue on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram, & Google +?
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