In today’s episode of “That’s Not New, That’s Just (X)” comes a new Notes feature for Twitter. Revealed by the Twitter Write account, Twitter Notes sets out to give users a way to write longer posts on the bird app. While that may initially sound like an additional 140 characters, bringing the total to 420 (har har), it’s actually a way to write a single, long-form post that you can accentuate with pictures, gifs, and tweets.
You see, in the before times of ten seconds ago, fanfic writers would have to break up their headcanons with, like, a 1/8 at the end of each tweet so folks would know to keep reading. Users who provided us with “grab the popcorn bucket” stories would add thread icons so we’d know to read more. Now? They can just go to the Notes section and do it all at once! At least that’ll be the case when it’s made available to everyone.
Isn’t this just blogging?
Yes. That’s what makes it hilarious. It’s a way to make a blog post. That’s it.
Honestly, I’m sure there are plenty of folks out there who like this idea (either legitimately or because “lol I’m gonna be more annoying than I already am”), it’s just amusing that it’s being presented as a brand new thing. “We’re testing a way to write longer on Twitter.” Just say blog, y’all, damn. You’re making a blog option for Twitter. It’s TwitLonger with pictures. I’d have more respect for you if you straight-up called it Twitter Blog. I mean, I’d still make fun of you, but I’d be laughing with you, not at you.
Notepad Apology 2.0?
While many are pointing at the blogging similarities, others have realized that Twitter Notes will most definitely become an alternative to the classic Notepad apology. Instead of having to write it out on your phone, take a screenshot, and tweet it, you’ll now be able to do it directly through Twitter—with pictures! Now you can start your “I’m sorry you were offended” post with your sad gif of choice. I choose Pikachu, because who can say no to that face? A fine icebreaker for a Twitter Notes Apology.
Imagine how creative this can get. A public figure whose name is trending for all the wrong reasons. They grab their phone, ready to draft an apology that may or may not actually use the words “I’m sorry.” They realize, “Oh, I don’t have to use Notepad this time!” They delete that app, turning their back on old reliable, and removing the middleman to apologize directly on Twitter. “Should I include an image?” They wonder if such a thing is too insensitive, but folks do love a good photo on a post, right? A new apology manufacturer has been crowned.
Boy oh boy, I can’t wait to see wild, 1000+ word think pieces on why my favorite thing sucks from Twitter user I-Have-13-Followers-And-Felt-The-Need-To-Ruin-Your-Day. How long before we get people responding to posts with links to their Twitter Note dissertation?
The worst hell of all, though, is that moment when I inevitably try this for shits and giggles, write a note, post it, then find a typo. Deleting a single tweet because of a spelling error is one thing, but an entire NOTE?!
(Featured image: Sunrise/Twitter/meme by Briana Lawrence)
—The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—
