Donald Trump speaks at a wedding at Mar-a-Lago

If You Book Your Wedding at Mar-a-Lago, You Deserve What You Get

Recommended Videos

Over the weekend, Donald Trump wandered into a wedding at his golf resort/new home Mar-a-Lago, took the mic, and set into one of his trademark rambling rants.

I say wandered (or actually the Daily Beast said “wandered”), but in the clip of the event obtained by TMZ, Trump is wearing a tux, so either he was invited to the wedding, he showed up unannounced but dressed for the occasion, or he really did wander in from some other formal event.

For most of us, Trump crashing our wedding sounds like an actual nightmare, but we have to remember, this couple chose to book their event at Trump’s club/home. And according to Business Insider, the groom, John Arrigo, is “a longtime Trump friend and donor.” So him speaking at their wedding is likely a highlight of the day, if not their lives.

I do wonder how they feel, though, about Trump choosing not to give a traditional toast, but instead turning the event into a full-on MAGA rally. That’s not an exaggeration. During his “speech,” Trump complained about Joe Biden, China, Iran, children coming across the Mexican border, and nonexistent voter fraud. You know, wedding stuff!

Here’s a transcript of his rant via the Daily Beast:

“Y’know, I just got, I turned off the news, I get all these flash reports, and they’re telling me about the border, they’re telling me about China, they’re telling me about Iran—how’re we doing with Iran, howdya like that? Boy, they were ready to make a deal, they woulda done anything, they woulda done anything, and this guy goes and drops the sanctions and then he says, ‘We’d love to negotiate now,’ [and Iran says], ‘We’re not dealing with the United States at all,’ oh, well, they don’t want to deal with us,” a tuxedoed Trump said.

“And China, the same thing, they never treated us that way, right? You saw what happened a few days ago, was terrible, and uh, the border is not good, the border is the worst anybody’s ever seen it, and what you see now, multiply it times 10, Jim—he’s the only one I know who would handle the border tougher than me. We have to, and the tough is… in the most humanitarian way, because that’s what it is. What’s happening to the kids, they’re living in squalor, they are living like nobody has ever seen anybody, there’s never been anything like what’s, and you’re gonna have hundreds, and you have it now, they have the airplane photos, the shocks, and they call ’em shocks, and these things are showing thousands and thousands of people coming up from South America and it’s gonna be, it’s just uh, look, it’s a disaster. It’s a humanitarian disaster from their standpoint, and it’s gonna destroy the country, and frankly, the country can’t afford it because you’re talking about massive, just incredibly massive amounts. Our school systems, our hospital systems, everything.”

Trump also displayed his continuing lack of understanding about the way the American electoral system works, complaining about his loss to now-President Joe Biden. “So it’s a rough thing, and I just say, ‘Do you miss me yet?’” he continued. “We did get 75 million votes, nobody’s ever gotten that. They said, ‘Get 66 million votes, sir, and the election’s over.’ We got 75 million and they said… but you know, you saw what happened, 10:30 in the evening, all of a sudden I said, ‘That’s a strange thing, why are they closing up certain places, right?’ Now, a lot of things happening right now, I just wanted to say, it’s an honor to be here, it’s an honor to have you at Mar-a-Lago, you are a great and beautiful couple.”

Glad he remembered where he was and who he was speaking to and about in literally the last few seconds of that unofficial MAGA rally rant.

I love not having to think about Trump on a daily basis anymore. I also love knowing that he’s lost so many of his usual outlets—Twitter, campaign rallies, etc.—that this is where he has to take his thoughts: to casual acquaintances’ weddings on his own property.

(via The Daily Beast, image: screencap, TMZ)

Want more stories like this? Become a subscriber and support the site!

The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—


The Mary Sue is supported by our audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn a small affiliate commission. Learn more about our Affiliate Policy
related content
Read Article 14 Best TikTok Songs of All Time
TikTok logo
TikTok logo
TikTok logo
Read Article Unsure About ‘Elden Ring’? Try These 9 Similar RPGs
Screenshot from Elden Ring
Screenshot from Elden Ring
Screenshot from Elden Ring
Read Article ‘The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power’: Cast and Characters, Trailer & More
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power logo on Amazon Prime Video
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power logo on Amazon Prime Video
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power logo on Amazon Prime Video
Read Article Who Is the Mysterious New Villain in ‘Moon Knight’?
Ethan Hawke talks to Marc Spector as Arthur Harrow in Moon Knight.
Ethan Hawke talks to Marc Spector as Arthur Harrow in Moon Knight.
Ethan Hawke talks to Marc Spector as Arthur Harrow in Moon Knight.
Read Article What Is the Marvel Secret Society in the ‘Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness’ Trailer?
illumanti is here girl—maybe
illumanti is here girl—maybe
illumanti is here girl—maybe
Related Content
Read Article 14 Best TikTok Songs of All Time
TikTok logo
Read Article Unsure About ‘Elden Ring’? Try These 9 Similar RPGs
Screenshot from Elden Ring
Read Article ‘The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power’: Cast and Characters, Trailer & More
The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power logo on Amazon Prime Video
Read Article Who Is the Mysterious New Villain in ‘Moon Knight’?
Ethan Hawke talks to Marc Spector as Arthur Harrow in Moon Knight.
Read Article What Is the Marvel Secret Society in the ‘Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness’ Trailer?
illumanti is here girl—maybe
Author
Vivian Kane
Vivian Kane (she/her) is the Senior News Editor at The Mary Sue, where she's been writing about politics and entertainment (and all the ways in which the two overlap) since the dark days of late 2016. Born in San Francisco and radicalized in Los Angeles, she now lives in Kansas City, Missouri, where she gets to put her MFA to use covering the local theatre scene. She is the co-owner of The Pitch, Kansas City’s alt news and culture magazine, alongside her husband, Brock Wilbur, with whom she also shares many cats.