donald trump and king joffrey from game of thrones

The Trump Administration and Their Game of Thrones Counterparts

The White House is dark and full of terrors.

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Another day in the cursed Trump administration brings with it another unauthorized use of someone else’s copyright material. Specifically, Trump once again used imagery and fonts from HBO’s smash hit series Game of Thrones, as seen in his tweet below:

HBO has released a statement saying, “Though we can understand the enthusiasm for Game of Thrones now that the final season has arrived, we still prefer our intellectual property not be used for political purposes.”

This is hardly the first time Trump has used the fantasy series to promote his own agenda: He did the same thing with his Iran sanctions tweet “sanctions are coming.” Despite how often he dips into the GOT well, it’s doubtful that Trump has ever even seen the series.

As we did with our Trump administration/Buffy the Vampire Slayer counterparts, this got us thinking about the parallels between Westeros and the White House. Who would the rogues gallery of White House employees be in the world of Game of Thrones?

Donald Trump/King Joffrey

donald trump and king joffrey from game of thrones

This is an easy one: Trump and Joffrey Baratheon share several traits: malignant narcissism, unbridled arrogance, and a sense of entitlement for a position they did nothing to earn. Both also delight in wanton acts of cruelty, whether it’s putting children in cages or beheading their fiancee’s father. These spoiled little princes are bad news for their respective countries, causing stress and dismay across their kingdoms.

Mike Pence/The High Sparrow

mike pence and the high sparrow from game of thrones

(image: Ethan Miller/Getty Images/HBO)

The Vice President and the High Sparrow share more than just white hair. Both are religious zealots who hide behind their holiness while promoting misogynist and anti-LGBTQ policies. Let’s be real: if Mike Pence could parade shamed women nude through the street, he totally would. But not without Mother by his side, of course. Both men would feel right at home in The Handmaid’s Tale, a terrifying prospect for us all.

Ivanka Trump/Cersei Lannister

ivanka trump and cersei lannister in game of thrones.

(image: Alexandra Beier/Getty Images/HBO)

Okay, so this comparison may be a little unfair (to Cersei). After all, the queen of shade deserves better than to be compared to favorite daughter Ivanka Trump. But let’s look at the similarities: Both are blonde princesses from devious wealthy families. Both have serious daddy issues. Both think they are entitled to a seat at the table. Oh, and both of them aren’t very good at their jobs. Look, I love me some Cersei, but she brought the whole High Sparrow mess down on herself. She may be sitting on the Iron Throne, but it took her a lot of mistakes to get there.

John Kelly/Roose Bolton

john kelly and roose bolton from game of thrones.

(image: Drew Angerer/Getty Images/HBO)

The former White House Chief of Staff may have resigned in January, but his brutally cruel policies remain in effect. Like the cold and calculating Roose Bolton, Kelly showed unfailing loyalty to his superiors under the guise of respectability, while enacting their nastiest policies. While Kelly and Roose maintained an unearned sense of honor, the same cannot be said for their bastard sons.

Stephen Miller/Ramsay Bolton

stephen miller and ramsay bolton from game of thrones

(image: MANDEL NGAN/AFP/Getty Images/HBO)

Stephen Miller and Ramsay Bolton are two of the most reviled men in their respective worlds, and with good reason. The alt-right flunkie rose through the ranks to become the architect of Trump’s heinous immigration policy, in addition to becoming the president’s trusted senior adviser. Ramsay Bolton is a murderous psychopath who delights in torture and cruelty. Both men do terrible things in the name of ambition and recognition from cold father figures who will never love them. What a couple of bastards.

Kirstjen Nielsen/Melisandre

Kirstjen Nielsen and Melisandre from game of thrones.

(image: Mark Wilson/Getty Images/HBO)

Again, this feels kind of unfair to Melisandre. After all, she did resurrect Jon Snow. But both Nielsen and the red sorceress suffer from a slavish devotion to the men in their lives, so much so that they are willing to sacrifice innocent children to ensure their success. It’s the worst kind of villainy, done to serve a higher purpose so that they can later claim they were “just following orders.”

Sarah Huckabee Sanders/Septa Unella

Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Septa Unella from game of thrones

(image: Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images/HBO)

Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Septa Unella both love calling folks out and publicly shaming them. Whether they’re insulting members of congress, the press, or standing behind Cersei ringing that shame bell, they’ve made quite a career out of putting people down. And yet when the tables are turned, they immediately play the victim. Both are devout believers in their cause, no matter how toxic. It doesn’t matter if you’re telling the truth, as long as you shout louder than everyone else.

Who do you think should make the list? I tried to find a serviceable Littlefinger, but frankly I don’t think anyone in the Trump administration has the survival instincts or string-pulling ability. As for the White Walkers, those are likely the Trump voters who remain blindly supportive zombies to this terrible man. Or it’s climate change coming to kill us all. Your choice!

Throw your suggestions into the comments!

(image: Drew Angerer/Getty Images/HBO)

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Author
Chelsea Steiner
Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. An pop culture journalist since 2012, her work has appeared on Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more. Her beats include queer popular culture, film, television, republican clownery, and the unwavering belief that 'The Long Kiss Goodnight' is the greatest movie ever made. She currently resides in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband, 2 sons, and one poorly behaved rescue dog. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.