Skip to main content

True Blood Recap: You’re No Good

Recap

Not gonna lie, I’d totally sleep in a bed-sized coffin. 

Recommended Videos

Bill and Jessica are discussing his premonitions when Bill has a revalation. He can save all his vampire friends by walking in the sunlight, which he totally knows he can do now since his dream-like conversation with Lilith. Jessica thinks this is crazy talk but it makes sense, right? Bill can’t be killed with a stake, why would he be killed by sunlight? And then he walks outside and gets set on fire immediately.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it.

Eric is busy trying to kidnap Governor Truman Burrell’s daughter, Willa, when she admits to knowing about experiments on vampires. Eric takes her to Fangtasia where Pam is all for taking off her head. Willa’s all “you don’t need to glamour me, I hate what my father is doing and I love vampires,” as she stares dreamily at Eric. She tells them about the part prison, part research facility her father runs and Eric tells Pam to give one last look at the bar.

At said facility, Steve Newlin is being held captive when his wife (ex-wife) Sarah shows up. We get a brief reminder of the Fellowship of the Sun and find out she’s still pretty pissed at him, rightly so, and has gotten into politics. If Steve thinks he’s going to get help from her, he’s wrong, he’s there to give information about Eric.

Eric, Pam, Tara, and Willa show up at poor Ginger’s house. Eric promises to have sex with her (he swears it will happen one day) but uses her place to hide out instead. He takes Willa inside a giant coffin with him for safe keeping but she wants to chat (read: make out) instead of sleeping. That’s an issue for Eric for several reasons, the most important of which is his ears bleeding because he’s meant to be “dead” in the daytime hours. Anyway, Willa’s all, “My mom had an affair with vampire and can I drink your blood?” Eric puts his foot down. They eventually have to flee after the Governor traces a phone call to Eric’s cell.

Back at Sam’s house, he and Lafayette are cleaning up after their fight when Nicole shows up with her boyfriend Jesse asking if they can help with Emma. They’ve got the whole thing on tape, you see. Lafayette tells them the best thing they can do is erase those tapes and pretend none of this ever happened. They don’t follow his sage advice and wind up at one of the werewolf hideouts.

The police are looking for Emma and turn to Martha. Alcide and Rikki try to turn them away but they inform them they can basically do whatever the hell they want because of the new vampire laws. Well that’s…terrible. Either way, they find nothing because Rikki went into psycho werewolf mode and screamed at Emma until she shifted. But it looks like she may have an out, there’s a very Sam-like owl keeping watch. Later that night, Nicole and her L.A. crew show up and face a very hot-headed werewolf pack. The discussion goes south quickly and most of the pack shifts to attack them. It appears Nicole is the only one to get away as Sam sees her limping off after making a grab for Emma.

Sookie is busy practicing her new faery skill and Jason is having really bad headaches. He admits he was having hallucinations and she wants to take him to a hospital but he refuses, claiming it’s probably just a concussion, of which he’s had several. They share an honest moment talking about their parents and the memories they have left of them. Sookie reveals their mother was frightened of her because of her powers.

Jessica is insistent on helping Bill (since that’s what he asked her to do) and he tells Jessica about a scientist who was responsible for synthesizing Tru Blood. He suggests she dress inappropriately to go see him which means a schoolgirl outfit. Bill then goes to see Sookie and we realize why he wants the scientist. He still thinks he needs to walk in the daylight to save the vampires and thinks synthesizing Sookie’s faery blood is the best solution. She vehemently refuses and has a really tense confrontation with him in her kitchen (since he can come in uninvited). “You’re dead to me now Sookie Stackhouse,” he says. Oh god, Bill, what did you expect? Stop being so melodramatic.

Grandap Niall goes to faery club for help but finds a massacre instead. He uses his powers to relive the events through blood left on the floor. There’s just one survivor who says a vampire got in. Niall kills him after the faery asks him to put him out of his misery. When Niall exits the club, he finds Ben Flynn still looking for the club. He knows Niall is a King and Niall asks him to return Sookie’s kindness.

Andy is at the police station checking new vampire equipment when Holly shows up to ask for help with some hanging outside her windows. She sees his new bigger kids and can’t help but feel a bit sorry for him. Andy winds up teaching her how to shoot, which is interrupted by the four kid reading her mind. They talk about their relationship but there’s no real conclusion. Later that night Andy sees Bill and tells him he has to go home because of the curfew. Bill is extra courteous as he smells faery blood (one of the kids’ stuffed animals) in the cop car.

I’m worried about Jason. I’m really hoping whatever is affecting him doesn’t mean he’s going to turn out to be something other than human. There aren’t many of them left on the show. Bill is just…Bill. I’m not sure if we can excuse his awful behavior because of Lilith’s influence. He seems totally with it one minute and then flies off the handle. And are we all agreed Ben is Warlow? I’ve just got that sense but it’s all too convenient he was still hanging around the faery club area. Plus, he and Sookie have a connection. What do you think?

Are you following The Mary Sue on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, & Google +?

Have a tip we should know? [email protected]

Author
Jill Pantozzi
Jill Pantozzi is a pop-culture journalist and host who writes about all things nerdy and beyond! She’s Editor in Chief of the geek girl culture site The Mary Sue (Abrams Media Network), and hosts her own blog “Has Boobs, Reads Comics” (TheNerdyBird.com). She co-hosts the Crazy Sexy Geeks podcast along with superhero historian Alan Kistler, contributed to a book of essays titled “Chicks Read Comics,” (Mad Norwegian Press) and had her first comic book story in the IDW anthology, “Womanthology.” In 2012, she was featured on National Geographic’s "Comic Store Heroes," a documentary on the lives of comic book fans and the following year she was one of many Batman fans profiled in the documentary, "Legends of the Knight."

Filed Under:

Follow The Mary Sue: