comScore World Belongs To Prancer, the Rescue Pup With All the Issues | The Mary Sue

Things We Saw Today: The World Belongs To Prancer, the Rescue Pup With All the Issues

Plus Hasbro, Evangelion, and more!

prancer rescue dog

Twitter is usually a hellscape of bad ideas and verbal abuse, but sometimes it gifts us with the most wonderful discoveries. This weekend, the world was introduced to Prancer, a neurotic rescue Chihuahua with the spirit of a “haunted Victorian child.” Prancer went viral thanks to a Facebook post from his foster mom, Tyfanee Fortuna, who is fostering Prancer for Second Chance Pet Adoption League in New Jersey. The ad was then reposted on Twitter, where it has over 220K likes.

Fortuna’s ad for Prancer is a brutally honest yet hilarious look at a little dog with some oversized baggage. “OK, I’ve tried,” she wrote, “I’ve tried for the last several months to post this dog for adoption and make him sound…palatable. The problem is, he’s just not. There’s not a very big market for neurotic, man hating, animal hating, children hating dogs that look like gremlins.”

Fortuna continued, writing “Prancer came to me obese, wearing a cashmere sweater, with a bacon egg n cheese stuffed in his crate with him.” After a few days of adjusting, Prancer began to come out of his shell … with mixed results. “I am convinced at this point he is not a real dog, but more like a vessel for a traumatized Victorian child that now haunts our home,” she wrote. “Every day we live in the grips of the demonic Chihuahua hellscape he has created in our home.”

But just because Prancer is … special, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have good qualities as well. He is “loyal beyond belief,” housebroken, knows some commands and loves to be with the person he’s bonded with ― though that person will have to be a woman or women. “If you have a husband don’t bother applying, unless you hate him,” says the post. “I know finding someone who wants a Chucky doll in a dogs body is hard, but I have to try.”

Prancer’s story has since gone viral, with many lining up to welcome him into their family.

Prancer’s story is a reminder that all rescue animals deserve a loving home, the most dented of cans. Fingers and paws crossed that Prancer finds a new home that appreciates his eccentricities. And keeps him away from men and children.

(image: screencap/Twitter)

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Hope you’re having a sweet Saturday, Sue Believers!

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Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. She currently lives in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband and two poorly behaved rescue dogs. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.