Germ Killing Scarf Is the Latest in Gross Wearable Technology
This'll be good for New York Fashion Week.
If you secretly envy surgical mask-wearing weirdos but wish there was a slightly “sexier” way of protecting yourself from the flu and other ailments, Brooklyn designers have created ‘The Scough,” an “urban filterwear” scarf that keeps ”germs and pollution out.”
The Scough website (which you are presumably perusing wearing purell-coated latex gloves) has this to say about their mucus muffler:
If you love people but not their germs or pollution, Scough is for you. Scough is made by hypochondriacs for style conscious germaphobe. We designed it from the same materials the Ministry of Defense uses for chemical warfare—it’s not “made by a 3rd grade teacher.” It’s for people who want to look great but are serious about avoiding the flu every time some jerk doesn’t cover his mouth on an airplane, subway or in your office.
The website doesn’t explicitly state that these trendy kids are hanging out on their stoop awaiting chemical warfare, but I think we can all read between the lines.
Judging from Scough’s promotional images, the germ shield looks like a typical scarf. However, paisley and plaid are just a disguise for the innovative, patent-pending technology that designers have utilized to trap, neutralize, and kill potential threats.
The Scough uses activated carbon to capture “sneeze fragments, cough-dingle and general schmutz,” killing viruses after ensnaring them in the scarf’s weave. Perhaps the layers of dingle and schmutz also provide extra protection against the bitter cold?
Most impressively, the Scough uses an advanced silver ion filtration system to destroy cells’ membranes and make them rue the day they ever tried to enter your orifices.
I hope her head doesn’t fall off if the scarf is removed.
Scough’s website reminds visitors, “While we can’t guarantee the Scough will keep you from getting sick, it will definitely increase your chances of staying healthy and warm.” So it’s the latest in hot couture? Scarf humor, everyone. Always relevant.
Scough cost $40-60, which might seem like a lot for a piece of fabric you throw around your neck. But, does your bajillion-dollar Hermes scarf have silver ions and booger-busting technology? (Jk, I know you don’t wear Hermes. All your money is going towards flu shots.)