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The Proud Boys Complain About Being Single and Gee, I Wonder Why

Ladies, you're better off alone.

Ron Filipkowski tweets about single proud boys

HEY LAAAAAAAAAAAAADIES! Are you single and ready to mingle? Do you like your men misogynistic, homophobic, and fascist? Are you looking to live out your Donna Reed fantasy in some dude’s mom’s basement? Then good news! The Proud Boys are on the hunt for Mike Pence their future wives!

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At a “Fall Love Fest” rally in Los Angeles this past weekend, a pack of Proud Boys took a break from chanting “F-ck Antifa!” to let the sparse crowd know that many of them are single and “looking for housewives.” It’s amazing that these gents are single. You mean no woman has signed up for a lifetime of cooking, cleaning, and providing sex for these red-pilled cult members? Color us shocked.

Now, we’ve all had our fair share of bad dates and terrible partners. And many of us have had a long and lonely pandemic. But trust me when I tell you: ladies, you’re better off alone. After all, do you really want to be stuck making Hamburger Helper over a travel Sterno grill in the parking lot of the Boise city hall while your husband rants about critical race theory to strangers?

Are you prepared for a lifetime of schlepping milk everywhere you go just in case your bonehead hubby accidentally pepper sprays himself again? And are you ready for a man who will spend your kids’ college fund on tickets to see Joe Rogan live? JK, college is for gay liberal elites.

Many took to Twitter to mock these sad little men and their romantic aspirations:

The sad truth of it is, there ARE women out there who share the same odious views as the proud boys. White women especially are no stranger to propping up systemic racism, xenophobia, and fascism. Good luck, ladies. That jizz-covered Playstation controller isn’t going to clean itself!

(image: screencap/Twitter)

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Chelsea Steiner
Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. An pop culture journalist since 2012, her work has appeared on Autostraddle, AfterEllen, and more. Her beats include queer popular culture, film, television, republican clownery, and the unwavering belief that 'The Long Kiss Goodnight' is the greatest movie ever made. She currently resides in sunny Los Angeles, with her husband, 2 sons, and one poorly behaved rescue dog. She is a former roller derby girl and a black belt in Judo, so she is not to be trifled with. She loves the word “Jewess” and wishes more people used it to describe her.

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