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The Only Wizard I Want to Hear About Right Now Is Gandalf (‘s Big Naturals)

Gandalf lettin those things hang out, good god almighty!

Without getting too into it, I think we’ve forgotten a few core things about wizards with all this recent news about wizards. Wizards are supposed to have swag. Wizards are supposed to be cool, hot, fresh, and nonconformist. Wizards are supposed to be the epitome of “crazy, beautiful, free.”

We need to return to our roots and remember what wizardom is all about. And I can’t think of anyone better to lead the charge than Gandalf … and his big naturals:

By now this meme is a few months old, but we never talked about it on The Mary Sue, and I’m personally ashamed for keeping these twin mountains all to myself. Now seems like the perfect time to bring them back into the conversation.

The lore goes that Gandalf was gifted some massive bananaramadonglehaumers by a cosmic deity of benevolence:

Ever since then, Gandalf has been out there shakin’ them thangs for the greater good, and we couldn’t be prouder of him.

Not only is this supremely swaggy of him as leader of the wizard community, it’s also aesthetically cool as all hell. Artists have been going to town with this, and I think we’re all better off for it:

I’m particularly fond of those Bakshi re-imaginings. I resonate with the energy Gandalf is giving in these images to such a phenomenal degree, and if I had any criticisms, they’d only be for myself, that I’m cursed to be 5’1″ and beardless instead of 6’2″ with a great, flowing beard to match those big natties.

But I mean, come on, imagine how badass the Lord of the Rings trilogy would be if it had shit like this:

But even aside from the sense of euphoria that Gandalf Big Naturals evokes, I love this meme for what it stands for. The original creator (via that tweet at the top of this article) made GBN while recovering from top surgery, seeing it as a final farewell to their boobs, which is pretty damn cool. Now, released unto the wild, GBN has come to mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people, and all in a positive manner.

For some, GBN has been helping with body dysmorphia. For others, GBN is a gender-nonconforming icon. No matter the case, GBN is an icon with a tremendous amount of power packed into those yiddies, and honestly, he’s the only wizard I care to hear about right now.

Godspeed, you beautiful, braless bitch. Godspeed.

(featured image: becca t)

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Madeline (she/her) is a writer, dog mom, and casual insomniac. Her prior experiences with media have taken her down many different roads, from local history podcasts to music coverage & production. Niche interests include folk music, elves/wizards, and why horses are cool actually.