Here’s the Emoji Movie Pitch, Just in Case You Forgot It Was a Thing

[raised hand emoji]

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Thanks to Sony, we’re going to be #blessed with an emoji movie next year (August 11th, 2017 to be precise), and yes, you are now officially reminded that this is a thing and it is happening and we live in the weirdest freakin’ timeline ever. At CinemaCon this year, Sony revealed the pitch that made them want to back this movie, which is apparently a cross between Wreck-It Ralph and Inside Out. You know, because of course it is. Here’s how it goes, according to the account of the presentation over on /Film:

Yes, the emojis inside your phone come to life and live in their own secret world inside your phone’s text application. We were shown concept art of a grid spaced suburban neighborhood that is their home, Emoji Valley.

The heroes in this story must leave the safety of their home and go to the world of the wallpaper, basically the phone’s desktop. In the world of the wallpaper, all the app icons exist as massive floating cubes, each containing their own world.

In addition to the emojis, there will be what can only be called “guest cameos” by certain apps like Spotify. It’s possible that there could be some cross-promotion going on here as well, what with the Angry Birds movie hitting real soon, as well, and you know… apps. Apps and #brands.

I have no clue how this is going to turn out. We don’t know much at all about the plot, so take this next part with a grain of salt, but this could very well be an endearing tale about coming of age as an emoji in a world where you’re apparently just so misunderstood that you decide to run away from your emoji valley home to a place where maybe you’ll be more underst–wait, this seriously is just Wreck-It Ralph, isn’t it? Just instead of Ralph, we’ve got… the burrito emoji? Man, I don’t even know anymore. We have reached peak #brands and I cannot stand it.

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Jessica Lachenal
Jessica Lachenal is a writer who doesn’t talk about herself a lot, so she isn’t quite sure how biographical info panels should work. But here we go anyway. She's the Weekend Editor for The Mary Sue, a Contributing Writer for The Bold Italic (thebolditalic.com), and a Staff Writer for Spinning Platters (spinningplatters.com). She's also been featured in Model View Culture and Frontiers LA magazine, and on Autostraddle. She hopes this has been as awkward for you as it has been for her.