The Mary Sue


Trump Team Is Mad CNN Won’t Give Credit (Already Did) for Trump Hurricane Relief Donation (He Hasn’t Made Yet)

Fake news!

I'm not saying that Donald Trump is going to pledge a $1 million Hurricane Harvey relief donation and then not do it. His personal track record with donations is pretty bad, but the intense media scrutiny of being president at least held him to donating his salary as promised so far, so the same will probably happen here. What I am saying is that his team is already using it as blatantly false propaganda.

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Kal Penn Criticizes Trump as a “Tiny-Fingered Vulgarian”

Penn appeared on CNN's New Day to talk more about the President’s Committee on the Arts and Humanities resignation, and how PCAH's initiatives will continue and prosper outside of government.

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Oh Look, It’s Another Guy Who Thinks the First Amendment Means He Can’t Get Fired For Saying Awful Things

Shocker: if you tweet Nazi salutations, your employer is free to fire you.

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I Really Shouldn’t Have Read Stephen Miller’s Wikipedia Page

I regret everything.

The Wikipedia page for Trump's senior policy advisor is really short (he's only 31, after all), yet every line in it is more depressing than the one before it.

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CNN Found an Excellent Workaround for the White House’s Camera Ban

Over the last five months, Sean Spicer and the rest of the White House team have made a number of attempts to get around that whole pesky "free & independent press" thing. They've tried having closed-door, invitation-only briefings (that didn't go over well), they've tried hiding in bushes (ditto), and now they've banned cameras from the White House press briefings.

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Gurl Bye: Kellyanne Conway Calls Anderson Cooper’s Eye Roll “Sexist” and We All Wish She Went Back Into Hiding

Just ... stop.

We didn't ask for Kellyanne Conway to make a comeback but here she is, ready to dish out a new onslaught of alternative facts.

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Bill Nye Called Out CNN for Giving Climate Change Denial A Platform on Earth Day

Bill Nye was invited to speak on CNN's New Day Saturday program for Earth Day, and he was exasperated that CNN also invited a climate change denier. Nye said, "Much as I love the CNN, you're doing a disservice by having one climate change skeptic and not 97 or 98 scientists or engineers concerned about climate change."

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That Garbage Racist Congressman Just Doubled Down on His Garbage Racist Comment About “Somebody Else’s Babies”

Rep. Steve King made an awful comment this weekend about not being able to "restore society with somebody else's babies." When given a chance to clarify, he instead chose to double down on his own despicable views.

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The Hollywood Reporter Stays on Brand, Features All Men on CNN-Centric Cover

"The future of media looks like this."

The Hollywood Reporter released a new cover, and—big shocker here—it's exclusionary.

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CNN’s Don Lemon Is 100% Over These Meaningless “Fake News” Accusations

"Please stop it with that stupid talking point that it is a fake news story. If you don’t want to participate in the news stories on this network, then don’t come on and participate, but don’t call them fake because you don’t agree with them."

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CNN Had One Woman and Eight Men on Its Women’s March Panel

Perfectly illustrating why the March was necessary in the first place, CNN filled its roundtable on the 2017 Women's March on Washington with eight men and one woman.

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Things We Saw Today: Aziz Ansari Turned the SNL Studio Into a Nightclub in New Promo

Aziz Ansari hosts Saturday Night Live this weekend, and here's hoping he made the whole thing look like a music video.

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The Mary Sue Editor in Chief Jill Pantozzi Talks to CNN’s Brooke Baldwin About Our Big Decision

[TW for discussion of rape] The Mary Sue will no longer be promoting HBO's Game of Thrones, but our editorial team will be making decisions on the newsworthiness of certain items as they arise. Earlier today our Editor in Chief Jill Pantozzi was asked to speak with CNN's Brooke Baldwin about our decision and what we think the series could have done differently.

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CNN Pulls a T.G.I.Friday’s, Inks Deal With the FAA to Launch Reporter Drones

Brace yourself for some exploitative coverage if one of them ever crashes.

What does T.G.I.Friday's have to do with drones, you ask? MORE THAN ONE WOULD THINK.

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CNN’s “In Case of Apocalypse” Video Supposedly Online for the World to See

The band played on...

To be fair, people watching CNN in the first place is a sure sign of the apocalypse. They really should be prepared.

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CNN Asks Tough Questions About The Nude Hacking Scandal, Like “Who Is This Four Chan Person Anyway?”

Next at 11, "why does Emoji keep texting our teens?"

Ohhh, CNN. We want to hate you for what you've become—that is, a shallow and irresponsible ratings grab which so often misses the mark when it comes to responsible journalism—but it's almost like trying to hold your bed-ridden racist grandpa to any kind of standard. At this point, it's easier and less head-ache deducing to have a nice inward chuckle at how obsolete you've become. Thanks for bringing some unintentional levity to what's actually been a total nightmare.

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Marvel’s Black Widow #12 Cover Features CNN’s Anderson Cooper Because Of Course It Does

Black Widow, Silver Fox, what's the difference?

In all seriousness, this cover by Phil Noto is incredibly gorgeous. And it's not just a one-image gimmick, either: according to the creative team behind Black Widow, Anderson Cooper will play an integral role to the plot as he "exposes the tangled web of the Widow’s past discretions." Uhhhh, yes please?

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Bill Nye Argues With CNN Host and Heritage Foundation Representative Over Climate Change Impact

Didn't they see the Ken Ham thing?

Our Friend Bill Nye appeared on CNN's Crossfire yesterday after a White House report about climate change was released. He was brought on to debate Heritage Foundation representative Nicolas Loris, but instead spent much of the time explaining how science works to the show's host S.E. Cupp.

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CNN Is Upworthy Now and Everything Sucks

We would have made a mocking Upworthy-style parody headline, but we're better than that.

We here at Team Geekosystem like to make fun of Upworthy. Not because we don't think trying to make social justice viral content isn't commendable, of course; it's because we hate their manipulative headlines. Even worse, we fear that other sites might try to use the same tricks to make us click on them. As it turns out, that fear is justified.

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BuzzFeed and CNN Sitting in a Tree, Y-O-U-T-U-B-E

You got your news in my cat memes. You got your cat memes in my news. CNN and BuzzFeed join forces for new YouTube channel.

Internet-list authority BuzzFeed has teamed up with CNN and YouTube to create a "CNN BuzzFeed" channel on the popular video site. The channel will feature archival footage, and create new content that we imagine will fall somewhere between ridiculous link bait and regular link bait. Get ready for headlines like, "15 Biggest White House Press Briefing Fails" and, "9 Cats That Are Sick and Tired of Partisan Bickering."

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