I am no stranger to spoilers. Someone once sent me the entire plot of Avengers: Infinity War after they saw the premiere and ruined it for me. I’m still not over it. So, with Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, I’m not taking any chances and have decided to try to keep myself as far away from scrolling through the internet as possible. And if you want to join with me, we can do these lovely suggestions instead, so we don’t end up crying because we know that it’s just 3 hours of pod racing.
So, for starters, what if we watched the classic film Soapdish on Hulu? Starring General Leia Organa herself, it’s a fun movie that, much like a lot of this list, results in you not wanting to be on your phone so you don’t run the risk of just blindly scrolling through Twitter and seeing a major spoiler because people want to watch the world burn.
After you finish watching Soapdish and thriving there, you can take a note from Captain America’s dog on what to do next. You can either look at this picture of Chris Evans’ dog, Dodger, staring out a window and looking at the snow or you could do as Dodger does and watch the snow instead. The world is your oyster in that regard.
Watching the snow fall pic.twitter.com/8X2qmyXVsu
— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) December 17, 2019
Haven’t caught up on You yet? Well, put down the internet, get out your blankets, and hunker down on your couch and watch the entire first season before season 2 premieres on December 26th. The show is terrifying and will keep you on the edge of your seat and, with that, comes the knowledge that you’ll be too afraid of being stalked on social media to post anything, so you won’t run the risk of spoilers!
Once you’re already on Netflix from watching You, you can then just venture on into watching all of John Mulaney’s comedy specials. That way, you have hours of internet-free enjoyment that doesn’t result in someone telling you that Jar Jar Binks was truly a Sith Lord all along.
It’s sad that this list has to exist because you know that there is some guy out there waiting to release to the world that he knows who Rey’s parents are just because he can, but that’s the world we live in when we’re constantly plugged into the great world of the internet.
It’d be easy to say that it’s safe out there, but we all know that there are people who are drunk with power who will willingly ruin Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker just because they can. So, if you don’t want to be spoiled, take the necessary steps towards avoiding the internet, because relying on other people to not be assholes doesn’t work.
(image: Lucasfilm)
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