Skip to main content

Santa Claus Can Still Come to Town Because He’s Immune to COVID

Get the milk and cookies ready

 

I’ve come to accept the fact that my holiday season will be spent making a lot of Zoom calls instead of actually seeing loved ones in person. It sucks, but if I want to be able to safely visit folks again I have to make adjustments. Fortunately, jolly ol’ Saint Nicholas can go ahead with his plans, which is sure to reassure a lot of kids.

Dr. Anthony Fauci recently spoke to USA TODAY about Santa Claus, of all things. It may seem odd, but we’re about a month away from Christmas and Santa’s trip around the world. It’s no surprise that children have noticed the changes in the world and the precautions we’re all supposed to be taking. Children are perceptive, after all. I remember asking about Santa after my parents got divorced and my mom’s apartment lacked a chimney.

The thought of someone entering millions of houses is a bit frightening right now. This isn’t just because of bringing the virus into your home (but that IS cause for concern), it’s because Santa would definitely be at high risk at his age. Besides, he makes stops across the globe, and some countries have definitely taken more safety measures than others. Fear not! Dr. Fauci has revealed that Santa is immune to COVID, so he’ll be fine to make the trip. “Santa is exempt from this because Santa, of all the good qualities, has a lot of good innate immunity,” he told USA TODAY. Phew, that’s a relief!

Other doctors chimed in to add their own combination of Christmas cheer and COVID tips, after all, why not use Santa as a learning experience for kids asking about his well being? “I hear the ventilation in Santa’s workshop is not the best, and opening windows in North Pole winters problematic,” says Dr. Peter Hotez, dean of the National School of Tropical Medicine at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston. “The good news is that mask compliance there is pretty good, and the elves are committed to social distancing. Mrs. Claus has implemented a program of regular testing and the reindeers now lead contact tracing.”

Yep, that sounds like the crafty Mrs. Claus.

Dr. Greg Poland, director of the Mayo Clinic’s Vaccine Research Group, took it a step further, proclaiming that he actually spoke directly to the North Pole. He told USA TODAY that there had been two infections among the elves. Oh no! Fortunately, it’s nothing serious, and, “It was a good reminder to the elves about wearing the mask properly. They now do that. It’s mandatory in the North Pole.” He went on to talk about how the elves now practice social distancing at their work stations and reassured everyone that reindeer cannot get COVID.

“Let’s do the same thing that Santa and the elves are doing,” says Poland. “We stay home if we’re not feeling well. When we go outside of the home, we wear a mask and wash our hands.”

This is probably a good way to explain why those classic mall trips to visit Santa will have to be put on hold. I’ve always subscribed to the belief that those were a team of Santas working for the real thing and relaying Christmas lists back to the head Claus in charge. Don’t worry, there’s still a way for kids to get their letters to Santa thanks to UPS!

I’m always a fan of adults who entertain children’s imaginations. You could easily say Christmas is canceled, or that Santa isn’t real, but in a year like 2020, it’s crucial to give kids something to believe in. Adults too, if I’m being honest. So yeah, Santa’s clear to make the trip and the workshop is taking the necessary precautions. Put out milk and cookies and watch your kids try to stay up and “catch” Santa, just like you did last year.

(Image: Eamonn M. McCormack/Stringer)

Want more stories like this? Become a subscriber and support the site!

The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—

Have a tip we should know? [email protected]

Filed Under:

Follow The Mary Sue:

Briana (she/her - bisexual) is trying her best to cosplay as a responsible adult. Her writing tends to focus on the importance of representation, whether it’s through her multiple book series or the pieces she writes. After de-transforming from her magical girl state, she indulges in an ever-growing pile of manga, marathons too much anime, and dedicates an embarrassing amount of time to her Animal Crossing pumpkin patch (it's Halloween forever, deal with it Nook)