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Samantha Bee Checks in With #MeToo, This Time With Zero F***s Left to Give for These Men

It’s been seven months since the first allegations against Harvey Weinstein were made public via the New York Times and the #MeToo hashtag went viral online. As Samantha Bee puts it, “that is seven months of kind of holding a very limited number of men sort of accountable for sexual harassment and assault, a little bit.”

One of those men is Eric Schneiderman, the now-former Attorney General of New York. Schneiderman resigned earlier this week, just hours after reports of assault by four women were published in The New Yorker. All of the women were former romantic partners of Schneiderman. (Schneiderman called the violent acts sexual “role-play,” but that only works if both sides are playing. Otherwise, it’s just assault.)

This outing of abuse is particularly infuriating (and disappointing) since Schneiderman positioned himself as a champion of women’s rights. Bee even had him on her show back in November, calling him a ‘super hero.” So, she says, “this is a little complicated for me to talk about.”

“JUST KIDDING, it’s not complicated,” she continues. “Fuck you, Eric Schneiderman. The good legal work that you did for women does not absolve you. It will not give me one second’s pause about tearing you a new asshole on television.”

The show hasn’t deleted that November interview, but they have changed the YouTube description to read, “We taped this segment before the allegations against Eric Schneiderman came to light, and we sincerely apologize for characterizing him as a hero when, to so many women, he was the vilest villain. We’re keeping this piece online in the interest of integrity. We encourage you to make a donation to an anti-domestic violence organization like The Battered Women’s Justice Project: Also, if you’re a fucking disgrace, please consider not coming on our show.”

In last night’s segment, Bee looks into the camera and says clearly, “Eric Schneiderman, you are trash and we do not need you. Tarana Burke started the #MeToo movement 11 years ago on MySpace. It will keep moving forward without you just fine.” There’s no better proof of that than this week’s primary elections, which were dominated by female Democrats, including Rachel Crooks, one of the women who have accused Donald Trump of sexual harassment. “You know who’s a better advocate for women” than men like Eric Schneiderman, Bee asks. “Women.”

And in regard to all the other “shit we don’t need,” i.e. the other “festering hemorrhoids on the ass of the entertainment industry,” Bee is fed up—as are we all—with the flurry of comebacks all these alleged abusers seem to see on the horizon. These men (like Charlie Rose, who Bee says gave her a very creepy, slightly open-mouthed, turtle-like kiss when they met) keep poking their heads out every few weeks “like perverted little Punxsutawney Phils to go ‘Has it been long enough?'” And the answer, all of seven months after this snowball started gaining speed, is still no. Bee says:

As long as you want to keep playing whack-a-mole from hell, it is my solemn promise that I will keep picking up the metaphorical hammer to slam you back down and remind you that you have not yet done anything to earn our forgiveness. So take your millions of dollars and pay a therapist to care about how tough it’s been to get caught being an abuser because honestly, I don’t give a shit.

Few people can deliver a rant like Samantha Bee, perfectly balancing fury and humor. She’s in rare form here, though, barely containing her rage (though still maintaining hilarity). She ends by saying, “The future really is female. Or at least it better be, because I am done with this shit.”

(image: screencap)

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Vivian Kane (she/her) has a lot of opinions about a lot of things. Born in San Francisco and radicalized in Los Angeles, she now lives in Kansas City, Missouri with her husband Brock Wilbur and too many cats.