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Beauty Vlogger Sailor J Offers a “Thoughts & Prayers” Makeup Tutorial Because Politicians Aren’t the Only Ones Who Can Pretend Like That Does Something

 

YouTuber Sailor J’s makeup tutorials first caught most of our attention back in October of 2017 when she released a series of hilarious and fiercely feminist videos. Satirical tutorials like “Contouring 101” and “GETTING A MAN 101” take on unrealistic and sexist beauty standards by educating viewers in the art of shapeshifting.

Other videos have taken on a range of subjects from racist Native American-inspired makeup tutorials to videos for the different Hogwarts houses. (The Hufflepuff one made me feel deeply seen.) But the latest video from Sailor J—aka JJ Smith, who is a member of the U.S. Air Force—is a painful but necessary watch.

Titled “T&P Makeup Look,” the video is a lesson in how to decorate your face using the favorite tool of the “rich, indifferent people in Congress”: Thoughts & Prayers. It’s especially popular after a tragedy like the school shooting in Parkland, Florida. The line might not look like anything to you, but if that’s the case, J says, “it’s probably just because you’re not strong enough in the spirit.”

The foundation comes in two shades. If you’re white, you get “Mental Illness.” If you’re brown, you get “Terrorist.” The mascara comes in bulletproof black, to match the vests we’re all going to have start putting on children. The blush comes in one shade: The Blood of Our Children. “Because it’s what we’re bathing in these days.”

“Just going to dab this here,” she instructs. “So we looked flushed with embarrassment, like the rest of our country.”

She links to a GoFundMe campaign raising money for the survivors of the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School and the families of those killed. Because the way Congress keeps pushing their Thoughts and Prayers line, it’s clear “we don’t want to prevent any tragedies, we just wanna clean it up after.”

(image: screengrab)

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Vivian Kane (she/her) has a lot of opinions about a lot of things. Born in San Francisco and radicalized in Los Angeles, she now lives in Kansas City, Missouri with her husband Brock Wilbur and too many cats.