What we know about Street Fighter 6 so far is that it is, in fact, coming, and that Capcom will have more news for us in Summer 2022. This means that fans are left to their own devices in regards to what one can expect to see out of the iconic fighting game franchise.
While I’m sure there are substantial conversations being had about gameplay and characters we’re hoping to see, I’m a chaotic gremlin, and I choose to focus on the real, shall we say, meat of the story?
I’m talking about Ryu’s [ahem].
Yes, I could talk about that stock image of a logo or Ryu’s upgrade to sandals, but the heart of a warrior knows what it wants, and mine wants to discuss that Ryu [wooooow].
Here’s the thing, though (giggle, snort, thing). As I watched Twitter take hold (pfft) of Ryu’s [redacted], I realized that I’d seen this before with Capcom.
Hello again, mistress
During the hype train that was Resident Evil Village, one very specific character reveal took fans of the horror franchise (and those who appreciate REALLY tall women) by storm. Before we even knew Lady Dimitrescu’s name we were ready to have her step on us, especially since her trailers would show a first-person perspective of you, the player, being lifted up into the air so she could jab you with her monster claws.
Sure, you die, but it was a pretty sexy way to go.
Capcom, whether they realized it or not, had tapped into our deepest desires to be f*cked by a monster, or at the very least, a very tall woman who degraded us by calling us a “filthy man thing.” Lady Dimitrescu’s impact was so big on Resident Evil Village that the game’s art director, Tomonori Takano, came out to reveal what her actual height was because so many people wanted to know.
I don’t foresee us getting a tweet that tells us the size of Ryu’s Shoryuken, but maybe an art director will make a cheeky tweet about how Ryu doesn’t bother messing around with boxers or briefs and just goes down, diagonal, forward, punch, OR down, diagonal, back, kick, and calls it a day.
Which would illicit the most thirst?
Let me just say that as a blessed bisexual, I win either way. Between Step On Me Queen Lady Dimitrescu and Scruffy Beefcake Ryu, I am living my best life.
That said, which would take the title as Capcom’s greatest “that’s not what we meant for you to focus on, but here we are I guess” character?
Honestly? I’d have to give it to Ryu.
I love Lady Dimitrescu, but you can’t tell me that someone didn’t design her with the intention of stirring up some feelings amongst Resident Evil fans. There was a clear motive for making her attractive, it’s just that fandom’s adoration of her was a lot stronger than anticipated.
Then again… someone did have to illustrate that part of Ryu, didn’t they? And Capcom already knows that we love Ryu with a beard.
Hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, just enhance it by making it sweatier, wider, and put more emphasis on the UwU.
So I’m back to wondering which character has Capcom’s biggest “lol oops guess fans are into this” moment. Like. I do think this is something that Ryu, as a character, wouldn’t give a shit about because he’s focused on the battle that lies ahead. So yeah. You can make out his peen. Whatever, let’s fight.
I’m still kinda leaning toward Ryu’s screencap being the more unintentional moment between him and Lady D, even if this was just a 30-second teaser so you REALLY gotta include the most important factors and we get not one, but TWO clear shots of Ryu’s…
You know what? Everyone wins. Embrace your horniness, Capcom certainly has.
(Image: Capcom)
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