In what sounds like a headline straight out of The Onion, the police in North Wales are warning residents about a rash of mysterious garden gnomes that have started appearing in people’s front gardens. Christmas-themed garden gnomes to be exact.
This is actually happening, and while it’s hopefully just some sort of weird performance art intended to brighten someone’s day, there might be a less pleasant explanation. The gnomes have been appearing in Broughton, North Wales, since the beginning of September, leaving residents somewhere between delighted, confused, and outraged because it’s far too soon for Christmas. As whimsical as this seems, it may not be a prank, as the local police are warning that the gnomes may be a way for burglars to scope out possible targets for home robbery.
According to a statement posted on the HGC De Sir Fflint / NWP South Flintshire the Flintshire North Facebook page, the gnomes may be a test to see if the residents are home or not, as an empty house is an easier and safer target for a burglary:
The post warns residents, “This type of behaviour is sometimes used as a ‘calling card’ to see if the gnome is collected by the resident. If not, the property is likely to be empty and could be an easy target for burglaries. We would advise residents to be vigilant and ensure your home is secure.”
If that’s genuinely what is going on, it’s kind of ingenious. I mean, you’re not just going to leave a random Christmas-themed garden gnome if it just rocks up in your garden one day. And especially not at the beginning of September, because that’s absurd. A regular garden gnome might just make you shrug, walk past, and get on with your day. Especially if you’re carrying things and/or have a back like mine that’s averse to bending. But there’s something about a specifically Christmas-themed gnome turning up that’s really going to make you stop and examine it a little closer. This makes it a pretty good way to estimate whether or not the people who live there are actually home or have left the house unoccupied.
So far, there have been no reports of burglaries taking place at the gnome-struck houses, so maybe, just maybe, it really is just a delightful surrealist prank. At least, I certainly hope it is. I need this to be a source of fun and whimsy guys, not another depressing story about humans being shitty to each other. Don’t milkshake duck this one. Let the gnomes stay mysterious and cute.
(featured image: The Disney Channel)
