A shirtless man trains with a sword in 'Our Flag Means Death.'

‘Our Flag Means Death’ Season 2 Gave Us So Many Thirst Traps

"Water, water everywhere, nor any drop to drink."

We made it through another season of Our Flags Means Death. While we experienced a lot of pain this season, we also got a lot of unexpected thirst traps.

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Season 1 of OFMD introduced us to a ragtag group of wanna-be pirates. There was also an infamous pirate with his deadly crew. When they got together, magic happened and fans fell in love. In the second season, many of the characters grew into themselves a little more. Audiences got to see more sides of them, including how hot they can be. Let’s go over some of the biggest thirst traps of season 2.

Stede Bonnet, feeling his oats

Stede Bonnet (Rhys Darby) is known for not being the most aggressive guy, but he tries. Towards the end of the season, things changed for Stede and his self-confidence grew after training with the great Izzy Hands. He even got an earring! After killing a notorious pirate, Stede really was feeling himself and got handsy and aggressive with Ed. Ed, and all of us, loved it. Plus he was a merman and that is always hot.

Everything about Jim

In season 1, Jim (Vico Ortiz) was in hiding. They wore a disguise so no one would recognize them from their wanted poster. The hat, the long hair in their face, the fake nose, and the beard all served a purpose, to throw people off of their trail as they sought their long-awaited revenge. This season, Jim is free to be who they are and show it off with a hot new haircut and earring. The leather clothes and the confidence they have to be themselves made fans very thirsty.

Anne Bonny and Mary Read

I have written many times about my love of Anne Bonny (Minnie Driver) and Mary Read (Rachel House) and just how perfectly OFMD nailed them for me. Anne and Mary were unhinged delights. The chemistry between the actresses was fire—literally, because they set their house on fire. With their bickering and sadomasochist-vibes relationship, we were left feeling a little hot under the collar.

The Swede’s glow-up

A pirate bartender mixes drinks in 'Our Flag Means Death.'
(Max)

While most of the crew was without a ship, they stayed with Spanish Jackie (Leslie Jones) in the Republic of Pirates. The Swede (Nat Faxon) ended up joining the ranks of Jackie’s 20 husbands. Good for him, landing a catch like Jackie, but he did stay on land when the crew returned to the sea. When the Revenge docked there again, they found the Swede had undergone a bit of a makeover. Lucius (Nathan Foad) even commented on how hot the Swede had gotten since he’d been with Jackie. That crop top says it all. He’s also immune to poison now, so he’s got a lot going for him.

Blackbeard’s casual flex

A pirate tied to the ship casually flexing in 'Our Flag Means Death.'
(Max)

From the beginning of season 2, Ed “Blackbeard” Teach (Taika Waititi) has been on an emotional journey. He went from toxic pirate to fisherman, to just plain Ed. And we love that journey for him. When he was still not to be trusted by the crew, they tied him to the ship for safekeeping. All wet and deranged, he casually flexed his biceps and sent fans into a tizzy. Rumors said Waititi had been doing curls on set during breaks. Well, it shows and we thank you for it.

Izzy Hands sword training

I was a fan of Izzy Hands (Con O’Neill) from the first season and thought he had a lot of repressed sexual energy that needed to break through. This season we got to see some of that side. So of course that means some topless sword training. Did anyone else catch that little hip move when he said he could train Stede? Sir, just keep doing what you are doing.

(featured image: Max)


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D.R. Medlen
D.R. Medlen (she/her) is a pop culture staff writer at The Mary Sue. After finishing her BA in History, she finally pursued her lifelong dream of being a full-time writer in 2019. She expertly fangirls over Marvel, Star Wars, and historical fantasy novels (the spicier the better). When she's not writing or reading, she lives that hobbit-core life in California with her spouse, offspring, and animal familiars.