First, Oldest Recorded Case of Fucks Given Dates Back to 1310

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According to best researcher ever Dr. Paul Booth of Keele University, the earliest recorded usage of the word “fuck” dates all the way back to 1310. The good doctor discovered that (and I’m not joking) “Roger Fuckebythenavele,” whose (incredibly tragic) name appeared in court plea documents didn’t actually have that last name.

Dr. Booth believes that “Fuckebythenavele” was actually a nickname or a (hell of a) title. To him, the nickname means one of two things:

[It could] either mean an actual attempt at copulation by an inexperienced youth, later reported by a rejected girlfriend, or an equivalent of the word ‘dimwit’ i.e. a man who might think that that was the correct way to go about it.

A not so small part of me still thinks this is a joke, because seriously, how perfect is a name like “Fuckebythenavele”?


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Jessica Lachenal
Jessica Lachenal is a writer who doesn’t talk about herself a lot, so she isn’t quite sure how biographical info panels should work. But here we go anyway. She's the Weekend Editor for The Mary Sue, a Contributing Writer for The Bold Italic (, and a Staff Writer for Spinning Platters ( She's also been featured in Model View Culture and Frontiers LA magazine, and on Autostraddle. She hopes this has been as awkward for you as it has been for her.