As if ads claiming we all needed to stress over the #Quarantine15, #PandemicPounds, and whatever cutesy names they’ve given to the incredibly common and not at all judgment-worthy changes many of us have seen in our bodies over the last year-plus weren’t enough, now some media outlets are trying to give us something new to worry about: the “office bod.”
Americans who soothed themselves with calorie-laden comfort foods are frantically trying to slim down for the perfect office bod https://t.co/TM86kaMp69
— Businessweek (@BW) July 16, 2021
To be clear, “office bod,” like its seasonal counterpart “beach body,” IS NOT A THING. Yes, a lot of people have seen all sorts of changes in their bodies recently and for many, that comes with feelings of insecurity. We can’t insist that’s not the current reality for a lot of people. What we can do is refuse to reinforce those self-criticisms with this sort of framing that equates weight change with gluttony and insists that immediate rectification (based on entirely superficial standards) is of the utmost importance.
Are you feeling self-conscious about seeing people for the first time in over a year? Well, those people probably are too. Whether it’s because their body changed, their mental health changed, they completely forgot how to engage socially, or for whatever reason, most of us have gone through some changes. We’ve all been through some shit.
No one has to get back to their “office bod” to confidently reenter society—because we’ve all been dealing with a global pandemic during which more than four million people died but also because AN OFFICE BOD IS NOT A THING.
Whatever body you enter your office in? That’s an office bod.
(gets on soapbox, pulls out megaphone)
YOUR BODY MADE IT THROUGH THE PANDEMIC. YOU SURVIVED. THE FOOD YOU ATE HELPED YOU SURVIVE. AND WHEN I SEE YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE BEFORE THE PANDEMIC WHAT MATTERS TO ME IS THAT YOU DIDN’T DIE, NOT THAT YOU LOOK DIFFERENT https://t.co/WOQdhmELMm
— Beth C-C (@bethcarboncopy) July 16, 2021
Instead of burning calories, burn down capitalism instead
— Rob Sheridan (@rob_sheridan) July 16, 2021
Congratulations. You finally found a way to do an article worse than, “Tips from people born with money on how to retire early”
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) July 16, 2021
ATTAIN THE PERFECT OFFICE BODY SO THAT YOU TOO MAY RUIN IT BY SPENDING ALL YOUR TIME SLUMPED OVER A DESK IN FLUORESCENT LIGHTING https://t.co/apS1qhNm0u
— NOT A WOLF (@SICKOFWOLVES) July 16, 2021
All bodies are office bodies! No matter your size or shape you should all feel confident while rotting in a cubicle slowly begging for the sweet release of death! https://t.co/KnFUN0PJsc
— Josh Scherer (@MythicalChef) July 16, 2021
— Erin Biba (@erinbiba) July 16, 2021
*Deep breath* OK, what else did we see out there today?
- Why the Black Widow screenwriter feels “super guilty” about the movie’s post-credits scene. (via THR)
- LOL, Mark Zuckerberg dropped into a dog Facebook group, didn’t post a picture of a dog for tax, and got torn apart. (via The Week)
- NO:
Is There a World in Which Cosby Could Make a Stand-Up Comeback? https://t.co/1twAJJecjV
— The Hollywood Reporter (@THR) July 16, 2021
- YES:
AITA for being shocked that my friend will get married before me? https://t.co/jlplai74ot pic.twitter.com/JTOoxLHF4n
— Am I the Asshole? (@AITA_reddit) July 16, 2021
- A teacher who conducted her school’s spelling bee for 20 years reflects on what needs to change for that whole system. (via HuffPost)
- Here’s some hot ’90s gossip to end the week on: Did you know that Foo Fighters’ “Everlong” was written about Veruca Salt’s Louise Post? Winona Ryder also cameos in this story. (via Pajiba)
Happy Friday, everybody!
(image: NBC)
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