Beleaguered (probably) soon-to-be ex-congressmember George Santos is now boohooing over the move to oust him from Congress due to his numerous charges of fraud and a damning internal House ethics investigation, calling it “bullying.”
What in the name of Regina George is this? Consequences of one’s own actions are not bullying, George! It’s what they teach toddlers!
Santos decided to air his grievances with the collective House body a little earlier than the traditional Festivus date of December 23 in a news conference earlier today. CNN writes:
At a combative news conference outside the Capitol, Santos remained defiant on Thursday as he lashed out at other members of Congress. Pressed on why he won’t resign, Santos said, “because if I leave, they win. If I leave, the bullies take place. This is bullying.”
I’m sorry, but what? Bullying? In what world is holding a vote, in arguably one of the most powerful chambers in the entire world, to democratically decide whether a member of said chamber was fit to hold office bullying?! Is this a joke? Has he strayed so far from the realm of reasonable consequences for his grifting that Santos no longer recognizes the taste of accountability in his life?
I’ve long since stopped trying to understand the whys of George Santos’ behavior. None of it has ever made any sense. The man is a pathological liar, who finally, it seems, may have created a lie network so big he can no longer lie his way out of it. Or hell, maybe George Santos is two middle schoolers stacked on top of each other, and the entire world has just fallen victim to the greatest troll for the lolz of all time. I genuinely don’t know. Both seem plausible because again, I simply cannot fathom the amount of lies this man has told on an international stage, with abandon. You know what else I cannot fathom? The amount of trouble he’s in, too.
He’s in big, big trouble. He’s been charged with, by my count, 23 federal crimes. That is a lot! Do you know the average federal close rate? It’s 95 percent! You know how I know this? Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, because ex-cast member Jen Shah was also charged with a plethora of crimes. You know where she is right now (and why I said ex)? Serving her time in a federal prison!
Santos is up the creek without a paddle. If that were me, I would be terrified. I also know I wouldn’t be wasting my precious free (in more ways than one, at least for now) time futzing about with press conferences and being annoying on the national stage. I’d be laying low, and probably calling my lawyers, crying hysterically, on the hour, every hour.
It’s well established that Santos is his own kind of person though. You know what he decided to do with his time today at the press conference? Announce that he would be introducing a resolution to expel a Democratic member of Congress. I guess in his mind, if he has to go, someone from the other side needs to go, too? I genuinely don’t know:
Santos also said that he will introduce a resolution to expel Democratic Rep. Jamaal Bowman of New York for pulling a fire alarm when there was not an emergency. Bowman has pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge for falsely triggering a fire alarm in a House office building.
“That’s consistency. Let’s hold our own accountable,” Santos said as he announced his plans.
Bowman responded with a statement saying, “This is just another meaningless stunt in his long history of cons, antics, and outright fraud.”
CNN
There is nothing I hated more as a child than when one of my siblings was getting in trouble and tried to take me down with them. This is exactly what Santos is doing, and he will undoubtedly fail as you need two-thirds of the House to agree in order for a member to be expelled. While what Bowman did was stupid, I doubt any Democrat will vote in favor of expelling him for giving in to the siren song of the fire alarm. Something I wanted to pull for a very long time until I saw a Buzzfeed article that showed what the mechanism actually looked like, a mere switch in the wall. Alas, if only Bowman had known that too.
If Santos was a Dungeons and Dragons character, his alignment would be chaotic evil. So with that in mind, he’s threatening his colleagues that if this week is his last in Congress, he plans to attempt to take down as many people as possible on his way out:
Speaking to reporters, he indicated that if he is expelled, he will leave Congress will little fanfare on Friday, but vowed to “have fun on my way out,” promising to “name names” and blow the whistle on misbehaving members of Congress. He refused to preview any such infractions against “multiple members” but insisted it would be “enough to make your hair stand.”
“I will do the same thing members did to me and go to the Office of Congressional Ethics … and report everything that I think is relevant to the committee for them to look into,” he said.
CNN
I say this with absolute certainty, if you were dumb enough to do, or share, something bad with George Santos, a man who proved from the jump he could not be trusted with literally anything, you get what you get. Pop the popcorn, bust out the good Diet Coke. The end of this week is going to be a doozy. Personally, I’m ready for it, if only to finally see the end of George Santos, Congressmember.
(Featured Image: Paramount Pictures, Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)
