Actual Reasons to Never Date a Feminist
You might’ve seen an article by Dave Hon making rounds around the internet titled “Why I’ll never date a feminist.” While lots of awesome people around the internet have written about how Hon’s reasoning isn’t the best, we here at The Mary Sue have chosen to gaze into the distance and wonder: are there good reasons to not want to date feminists? Could Dave Hon, who seems to be wildly misinformed, have stumbled onto something here?
Here are some possible reasons that we understand and sympathize with:
- You have a lot on your plate right now, and you really just don’t have time for the feminist agenda. You have scheduling conflicts and can’t make it to the Sisterhood meeting with the High Witch at the next Blood Moon.
- You were sent here to infiltrate Earth and harvest bodies, but falling in love would compromise your mission, and ultimately lead to your own self-destruction.
- You’re really self conscious about your dance moves and don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of both your feminist partner and Satan at the next Black Mass.
- You’re not yet prepared for the commitment of the feminist mating ritual, which consists of a blood pact, and leaving your mortal life behind for an eternity beneath the surface.
- You’re an immortal, amorphous creature from an ancient world, and they don’t make “This is what a feminist looks like” shirts that can accommodate your ephemeral form.
- You’re not that fond of the taste of human flesh, so you’ll have nothing to eat at feminist potlucks.
- You don’t believe that relationships should be founded upon mutual respect, regardless of the genders of the people involved, and you also don’t understand that feminism is in everyone’s best interest–even men’s.
- Feminists don’t want to date you.
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