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Listen Up, Ya Turkeys! Recipe Ideas for a Very Nerdy Thanksgiving

Looks like meat is back on the menu.

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If, like me, you’re not the most disciplined of chefs (or, you know, the most disciplined of anything domestic), you might not have begun cooking for this year’s Thanksgiving feast yet. Don’t panic! There’s still time to prepare something passably-edible, and I know that for myself, cooking or decorating on a theme can help me get more excited for a project.

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In that vein, I’ve cobbled together some geeky resources and recipe ideas for cooking a Thanksgiving meal that will be just as much fun to create as it is to eat. Accio grub!

THE ACTUAL GOSH-DARN BIRD. (OR MEAT OF YOUR CHOOSING). 

You can always go simultaneously low-effort and high-commitment by emulating the feasts enjoyed by our astronauts on the ISS, as explained in this video by astronauts Scott Kelly and Kjell Lindgren:

This year’s menu features turkey, freeze-dried yams, corn, and potatoes, all of which you yourself can purchase and enjoy (?) with your friends and family in the spirit of space authenticity. And hey, if there are leftovers, you’ll be well-stocked up for when the apocalypse comes! Note: do not accidentally purchase dog food. The freeze-dried food market is a slippery one.

If you’re craving something a little more hydrated, the Middle Earth Foodie Blog recommends Radagast’s Rhosgobel “Rabbit” Sausage Sauté (it “tastes a lot like chicken”!), or Balin’s Spiced Beef. And, for the truly ambitious, there’s always the Cthurkey.

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Gobble gobble ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.

SIDES, BEAUTIFUL SIDES

The obvious choice here is po-ta-toes, and it’s not hard to find geeky spud recipes. Middle Earth Recipes is an excellent website for geeky cooks, and suggests a delicious-sounding Po-Tay-To Onion Soup.

Should you crave sides with a little less starch, the 1999 Star Trek Cookbook has an, um, interesting-sounding recipe for Klingon Green Beans and Walnuts, or there’s always the fish custard tacos from Dining with the Doctor: The Unauthorized Whovian Cookbook.

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(image via Flickr)

As for the obligatory cranberry sauce, any cranberry sauce, whether it knows it or not, is The Walking Dead themed. No matter how hard you might try to dress it up, cranberry sauce is going to look like coagulated brain-stuffs anyway. Best to just lean into it.

THE BIG D

Desert time! If you want to get some Star Wars on your menu, Kathleen Siegle of YummyCrumble has some awesome baked goods that we’ve shared recipes for in the past, including a Wampa Cake and Peppermint Jawa Brownies.

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(image via Yummy Crumble)

For some Harry Potter representation, Youtube’s Rosanna Pansino has great videos on how to make all kinds of magical sweets; I recommend checking out the recipes for Golden Snitch Caramel Apple CiderChocolate Frogs, or these Harry Potter Pumpkin Pasties:

If you’re really strapped for time or cash, and you live somewhere they’re readily available, you can also just pick up some Cornetto Ice Cream cones and call it a feast. Yum.

GROG

No true feast would be complete without libations! (For I am Grendel, total ruiner of Meadhalls.) Luckily, there are lots of nerds on the Internet with opinions about how you should take your alcohol.

GeekGirlBrunch has a whole list of adult beverages worth trying (the Qui Gon Gin looks particularly delicious/easy to make), but feel free to take extra creative liberties with the drink portion of your meal as well! For instance, anything I imbibe tomorrow shall be Orc Draught. If it is in my chalice, IT IS ORC DRAUGHT.

Merry_and_Orc_draught

Happy Thanksgiving, you fools! As the ancient blessing goes, may your holiday see more family debates over Evil Luke than Ben Carson.

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