If I Had to See These $200 French Fries Blanched in Dom Perignon on #NationalFrenchFryDay Then so Do You
My villain origin story continues
A day like #NationalFrenchFryDay should be cause for crisp potato celebration, but some have chosen to dishonor our love for lightly salted goodness with, according to the New York Post, upstate Chipperbeck potatoes that are, quote, “First blanched in Dom Perignon Champagne and J. LeBlanc French Champagne Ardenne Vinegar — aged in small oak barrels.”
Happy #NationalFrenchFryDay! NYC restaurant breaks world record with fancy $200 French fries https://t.co/WUYqnWRDYS pic.twitter.com/3VORm5rErL
— New York Post (@nypost) July 13, 2021
That’s just the beginning of the … dish?
Created by Serendipity3, the New York Post goes on to explain how the fries are cooked in pure goose fat from cage-free geese raised in Southwest France. The fries aren’t cooked just once, though, they’re cooked twice, first at 320˚F and again at 375˚F. Let’s continue o this journey:
After the fries are cooked, they are seasoned with Guerande truffle salt, the world-renowned hand-harvested sel gris from Guerande, France (about $17 an ounce). They are then tossed in Urbani summer truffle oil and topped with shaved Crete Senesi Pecorino Tartufello — made from the milk of sheep that graze on the clay-rich hills of Crete Senesi and shaved with black truffles foraged from Volterra and Miniato, Italy. Shaved black summer truffles from Umbria, Italy are added to the top.
But wait, I say as my brain begins to malfunction at the ongoing list of ingredients, there’s more!
“The fries are accompanied by a mornay sauce made with udder cream from A2 grass-fed Jersey cows, black truffle butter, and 3-month aged gruyere truffled Swiss raclette (at $24.99 per pound). Served on a Baccarat crystal Arabesque plate, the fries and sauce are finished with 23K edible gold dust which costs $150 a gram.”
You might be wondering if the chefs at Serendipity3 decided to spend a day double-dog daring each other to keep adding enough ingredients to make the French fry description the length of a novella. It’s like looking up a recipe online and getting the author’s entire life story before you get to the part where they finally tell you to set the oven to the tried and true 350˚F.
What in the world would make someone create a plate of fries that looks like someone sucked the color out of the imaginary food from Hook?
I’ll tell you what: the Guinness Book of World Records.
Thanks to the combined efforts of edible gold dust, champagne, and everything else I cited above, a plate of these French fries costs $200. Yes, I know it looks like the leftovers you throw together for a quick meal, but let’s be real, your leftovers probably look more appetizing than these Creme de la Creme Pommes Frites.
And are probably less expensive, and if they’re not, I don’t think you’re gonna use champagne as an ingredient for deep-fried spuds you can get off of your dollar menu of choice.
Creative director Joe Calerdone told the New York Post, “Who knows, for our $1,000 sundae we had a Saudi Prince come in and buy them for his for the table with cash, and maybe we’ll have a Saudi Prince come in and want the French fries.”
Yep, it’s true, the restaurant is home to the Golden Opulence Sundae, a dessert that has to be ordered 48 hours ahead of time. According to CNBC, the treat, “Comes complete with three scoops of Tahitian vanilla ice cream covered in 23-karat gold leaf, as well as almonds, caviar, and a sugar-forged orchid that takes eight hours to build. The dish is served in a $350 Baccarat crystal goblet (lined with more than 23-karat gold leaf), with an 18-karat gold spoon on the side.”
In 2004, the sundae earned the record for most expensive dessert in the world, only to be beaten in 2007 by The Frrrozen Haute Chocolate, which costs an astonishing $25,000, but hey, you get to keep the bedazzled spoon it comes with.
The creator of that monstrosity? Serendipity3.
Yeah, this is a running theme with a restaurant that, according to the New York Post, has held TEN Guinness Book of World Records for different expensive foods. These French fries are just the latest edition to an ongoing saga I’m mentally calling, “Buy this food for bragging rights amongst your wealthy friends.”
Does this even taste good?
Because it looks like … um…
Who jizzed on my fries?
— Jasmine(‘s boobs hurt) (@Ranting_Trans) July 13, 2021
I’d rather buy 200$ worth of regular fries than fries with jizz on them https://t.co/7v5sBSXle6
— Lucy 🌈 (she/her) (@Garmfeeld) July 13, 2021
$200 for some nut fries?? https://t.co/jj8Blv2UIs
— Antidope (@Ant95four) July 13, 2021
Did someone famous cum on them, or?? https://t.co/n8y1sfZlbf
— Snugs Woodlock (@xismosita) July 13, 2021
Let me just say that I don’t mind expensive meals, but you have to do a LOT more to get me to drop $200 on what usually nestles up beside a thick, juicy burger. My brain is already reminiscing about various anniversary meals with my wife that still fell under that dollar amount for BOTH of our plates. I’m also not a big fan of food being expensive being because of things like “we used gold flakes, they serve no purpose other than being gold flakes.”
Where’s the description of the flavor? Does traveling to the far reaches of the universe to get milk created from a solar baby’s tears make for good seasoning?
None of that matters though, does it? This is a dish that’s created to 1) break a record, 2) have folks mock (hi, I’m folks), and 3) show off to others who have nothing else better to do with $200—though I implore you to find a better way to flaunt your wealth, I can guarantee that there are better expensive food options than this.
Either way, I think I’ll stick with regular old crinkle cut, thanks.
Want more stories like this? Become a subscriber and support the site!
—The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—
Have a tip we should know? [email protected]